What a strange time, to be celebrating, genuinely. Laughing and sharing good times, genuinely. And yet to be concerned about what is happening all around, also genuinely. To be aware of what is and what is to come. It's a hard thing, to be in more than one place at once. Sometimes I wouldn't mind being able to do things that others I know can do, stepping through the veil like stepping into another room. But most times I'm all right with being right where I am in that regard. High the price of such gifts.
I have the possibility of learning more about my pasts. Do I want to do that? No going back if I did. For now, I think I'm happy with the way things are, knowing that I can call on the skills and talents I've acquired over time. But if someday I think the need is there... For now, knowing without knowing is enough. That knowledge is not far away though; I can feel it.
Too much going on. Need to work on that.
Sunday, 21 December 2008
Winter Solstice
Late last night I lit a beeswax candle shaped like a pine cone for some personal observances, and as well we did an I Ching reading. Very illuminating. We'll be making some changes in the coming months. It promises to be a challenging year.
This morning Oakstone celebrated at the Sunwheel astrally. As I noted elsewhere, it's kind of fun walking through astral snow.
The snow is still coming down even as I write this afternoon.
Generally I find watching the snow fall to be a peaceful, delightful activity. Today, not so much... the motion catches my eye and I look out into the fields and hills and see.... desolation. Despair. An emptiness of the land. The land itself is in mourning. And what of the people there...
Looking out with intent, I don't think it is a physical environmental thing in our area, but whatever "it" is, it is so vast and far-reaching that even those not directly affected by it will still feel the spiritual and psychological side effects; hard to be a victim but hard to be a survivor and/or witness as well. Somewhere out there, a great and fearful thing is building; it is waiting but it will happen. It makes me want to weep with the power I sense from it. It will be a heartbreaking thing in so many ways.
I cannot prove it. I cannot point to articles or research. I cannot simply point to the vastness of the thing I have seen. I can only say that I have seen it.
For those who are aware and persevere, no matter what happens, there is still hope. This is the season where at the darkest time, a small spark of light is shining. Remember.
This morning Oakstone celebrated at the Sunwheel astrally. As I noted elsewhere, it's kind of fun walking through astral snow.
The snow is still coming down even as I write this afternoon.
Generally I find watching the snow fall to be a peaceful, delightful activity. Today, not so much... the motion catches my eye and I look out into the fields and hills and see.... desolation. Despair. An emptiness of the land. The land itself is in mourning. And what of the people there...
Looking out with intent, I don't think it is a physical environmental thing in our area, but whatever "it" is, it is so vast and far-reaching that even those not directly affected by it will still feel the spiritual and psychological side effects; hard to be a victim but hard to be a survivor and/or witness as well. Somewhere out there, a great and fearful thing is building; it is waiting but it will happen. It makes me want to weep with the power I sense from it. It will be a heartbreaking thing in so many ways.
I cannot prove it. I cannot point to articles or research. I cannot simply point to the vastness of the thing I have seen. I can only say that I have seen it.
For those who are aware and persevere, no matter what happens, there is still hope. This is the season where at the darkest time, a small spark of light is shining. Remember.
Tuesday, 9 December 2008
Dreams
First one is just a short bit, from a couple nights ago. Duke, the farm dog, went out the door of the house Lyle and I usually use, with someone who I'm pretty sure wasn't a family member. Very unusual, since he isn't on that close terms with many folks outside the family -- or, why he's such a good 'doorbell' for the farm, as he lets us all know when someone drives in to the dooryard. But he went willingly with this person. He is getting a little older and stiff in the hips, so I wonder...
Second one is from last night. Siani and Lyle were in it.
Busy place, lots of people, both indoors and out. Kind of like a fair or event or concert or all of the above? L and I got separated, maybe because we were looking at different things. It wasn't an alarming thing to have happen.
I went into the library. It was a rather ordinary-looking library, one of the more modern constructs, with bright lighting.
In the library was Siani. She was seated, looking downward almost like she was hiding her face/presence. She was dressed in her white druid robes, or at least the over robe was white. Her nemyss was white with a gold edge. Or maybe gold with some hints of blue and some other colors in it? I remember there being more than just white and gold. She had her staff in one hand. She was lean and fit, much closer to how I remember her being years ago, except still with the hair color she has today.
I sat down to talk with her for a bit, and among other things she mentioned a learning program that she'd been working on and had completed. It could be studied in school or independently. She wondered if I had a copy if I would actually read it. I joked that if I were interested in something in both chapters 4 and 6 I would likely read chapter 5 just for completeness, but that yes, I would read the whole thing if I had a copy. Now, it's a question worth asking because with some types of books I often only read parts of them, especially reference-type books. And there were a lot of chapters, at least 13. And maybe there was going to be more written at some point? Not sure, but seems like there ought to be 19, don't you think? Or perhaps the last chapters will be written by each person when he or she is ready.... hm...
We both got up and left the library, looking for Lyle. Although at the beginning of the dream it had been late evening, now it morning. We were holding hands as we went. I don't know why, but I think it was important, to signify a close connection?
Few people were stirring at such an early hour, and some people were sleeping outdoors as well as wherever one might normally think of staying the night. Siani saw one such sleeping to one side and noted the sheathed machete on the belt. The person's face was covered with something (to shield from the sun?). She wondered if it might be Lyle, but I said 'no' because the clothing was wrong -- modern clothing, which on waking I realized was what stood out the most, so he and I were likely wearing some of our more druidic or homemade clothing ourselves, although not white robes (sorry, a little fuzzy on some details). Also, the machete was on the left side instead of the right, which is where L wears it when he's out working in the woods. We walked on and eventually found Lyle, who'd been busy elsewhere, I think learning about what was going on in the area and who was who.
That's it for now.
Second one is from last night. Siani and Lyle were in it.
Busy place, lots of people, both indoors and out. Kind of like a fair or event or concert or all of the above? L and I got separated, maybe because we were looking at different things. It wasn't an alarming thing to have happen.
I went into the library. It was a rather ordinary-looking library, one of the more modern constructs, with bright lighting.
In the library was Siani. She was seated, looking downward almost like she was hiding her face/presence. She was dressed in her white druid robes, or at least the over robe was white. Her nemyss was white with a gold edge. Or maybe gold with some hints of blue and some other colors in it? I remember there being more than just white and gold. She had her staff in one hand. She was lean and fit, much closer to how I remember her being years ago, except still with the hair color she has today.
I sat down to talk with her for a bit, and among other things she mentioned a learning program that she'd been working on and had completed. It could be studied in school or independently. She wondered if I had a copy if I would actually read it. I joked that if I were interested in something in both chapters 4 and 6 I would likely read chapter 5 just for completeness, but that yes, I would read the whole thing if I had a copy. Now, it's a question worth asking because with some types of books I often only read parts of them, especially reference-type books. And there were a lot of chapters, at least 13. And maybe there was going to be more written at some point? Not sure, but seems like there ought to be 19, don't you think? Or perhaps the last chapters will be written by each person when he or she is ready.... hm...
We both got up and left the library, looking for Lyle. Although at the beginning of the dream it had been late evening, now it morning. We were holding hands as we went. I don't know why, but I think it was important, to signify a close connection?
Few people were stirring at such an early hour, and some people were sleeping outdoors as well as wherever one might normally think of staying the night. Siani saw one such sleeping to one side and noted the sheathed machete on the belt. The person's face was covered with something (to shield from the sun?). She wondered if it might be Lyle, but I said 'no' because the clothing was wrong -- modern clothing, which on waking I realized was what stood out the most, so he and I were likely wearing some of our more druidic or homemade clothing ourselves, although not white robes (sorry, a little fuzzy on some details). Also, the machete was on the left side instead of the right, which is where L wears it when he's out working in the woods. We walked on and eventually found Lyle, who'd been busy elsewhere, I think learning about what was going on in the area and who was who.
That's it for now.
Hopi Prophecy
One of the messages going around this year... (I posted this at my other blog also)
“You have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour.
Now you must go back and tell the people that this is the Hour.
And there are things to be considered:
Where are you living? What are you doing?
What are your relationships? Are you in right relation?
Where is your water? Know your garden.
It is time to speak your Truth.
Create your community.
Be good to each other.
And do not look outside yourself for the leader.
This could be a good time!
There is a river flowing now very fast.
It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid.
They will try to hold on to the shore.
They will feel they are being torn apart, and they will suffer greatly.
Know the river has its destination.
The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of
the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water.
See who is in there with you and celebrate.
At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally.
Least of all, ourselves.
For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a
halt. The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves!
Banish the word struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary.
All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.
We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.”
–The Elders, Oraibi, Arizona Hopi Nation
***
In the I Ching, there is the phrase "Step into the Great River". When this comes up as part of a reading, it means that now is the time to take action. There are times in life for everything - resting, learning, sharing, keeping one's counsel, turning away from a path, leading, following, working together.
When it is time to step into the great river, do not hesitate. Do not let doubt control your actions. Some people may think that it is still better to stay at the river's edge, but then their hopes and dreams may be lost as the riverbank is worn away.
Interesting that in this Hopi prophecy and in the I Ching, change is not necessarily something to be feared. Many people fear the unknown in the modern world, but who profits most from things remaining stagnant? Worth thinking about.
“You have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour.
Now you must go back and tell the people that this is the Hour.
And there are things to be considered:
Where are you living? What are you doing?
What are your relationships? Are you in right relation?
Where is your water? Know your garden.
It is time to speak your Truth.
Create your community.
Be good to each other.
And do not look outside yourself for the leader.
This could be a good time!
There is a river flowing now very fast.
It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid.
They will try to hold on to the shore.
They will feel they are being torn apart, and they will suffer greatly.
Know the river has its destination.
The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of
the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water.
See who is in there with you and celebrate.
At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally.
Least of all, ourselves.
For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a
halt. The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves!
Banish the word struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary.
All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.
We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.”
–The Elders, Oraibi, Arizona Hopi Nation
***
In the I Ching, there is the phrase "Step into the Great River". When this comes up as part of a reading, it means that now is the time to take action. There are times in life for everything - resting, learning, sharing, keeping one's counsel, turning away from a path, leading, following, working together.
When it is time to step into the great river, do not hesitate. Do not let doubt control your actions. Some people may think that it is still better to stay at the river's edge, but then their hopes and dreams may be lost as the riverbank is worn away.
Interesting that in this Hopi prophecy and in the I Ching, change is not necessarily something to be feared. Many people fear the unknown in the modern world, but who profits most from things remaining stagnant? Worth thinking about.
Friday, 29 August 2008
Wonderings
Pennsic.... I really enjoyed it this year. Had a lot of fun, loved watching the battles (even though being in them would have been event better), loved the classes, wandering the streets, chatting with folks, archery, the baronial champion tourney... it was all great. And yet, I wonder if we can really justify the gas for that next year. Before we went, it was easy for me to say that this would be our last year going down there -- we didn't go last year because of the house (renovations/putting on market), so I was more removed from the spectacle. But while we were there, swept up in the whole phenomenon, it was so easy at times to get enthused about getting more rattan weapon supplies, the beautiful ceramics there, and more. In fact I did more shopping at Pennsic than I've done in years... although some of that may have been because if we don't go back, this year was my last year to see a lot of these artisans. Certainly there were times when I'd wonder what we were doing there, mixed in with everything else.
When we got home I was reading more on ice shelves cracking (northern part of Greenland!), ice melt in the arctic (polar bears having to swim farther and farther to get to land or an iceberg, with more of them not surviving), etc. Harder and harder to justify driving very much. As it is we'll be staying home from one of the two family weddings because it's in Indiana. We're considering a trip to Rhinebeck, NY (NY Sheep and Wool Show), which is a day-trip for us (although we could camp out in the back of our van and make it a two-day thing). I don't know, maybe we should skip Rhinebeck... although since L can't make it to Fiber Twist this year, maybe we should do Rhinebeck and then I'll stay home from Fiber Twist. I suppose I could go do some things with friends, as long as we carpool -- no way can I justify driving around in the minivan by myself.
And of course now that I've been to CA this summer, my mom's pressuring for another trip out there. And then apparently there's an expectation that when she goes to do whatever they're doing with giving a lot of her Chinese studies research materials to the Library of Congress, that I'll be there as well. ?? All I'm doing is re-typing the chapters of her book for her -- officially anyway. I also help to keep her on track from time to time, and because the quality of her writing isn't what it was before this past spring's series of health issues, I've taken to correcting some of her writing without asking her anymore -- only if it's something fairly straightforward, of course.
Family expectations and SCA ("family") expectations make for some difficult choices. Well, for me anyway. Part of the Pennsic issue is that Lyle and I are the landed baron and baroness for our local group, and they expect us to be there. Although in the long run I truly believe none of us should be travelling that far, not only because of using all that fossil fuel but also because a large number of us in our group should be saving that money to use on things like, oh, say, food and medicine.
I know a lot of people in or out of the SCA, feel like they deserve annual vacations. Certainly true in the U.S., and probably true in a number of other places. And not only annual vacations but special weekends here and there, etc. I haven't done a lot of research on this, but I think that vacations as they are currently understood, are kind of a new thing. I don't remember reading anything about them in texts from the 1800s anyway. People had "outings", or if someone was ill they were sent to this place or that to restore their health. There were fairs of course, which are sort of fun and work combined for many of the attendees, even today.
Attendance at Pennsic was over 10,000, but down from last year. It's likely to go down more next year. Despite how some things have gone up over the last month or so, winter is coming, and lots of people are worried about how they're going to get through the winter. I hear more of it up here in the hilltowns, maybe because there are more folks struggling here, but more likely because when I lived in Holyoke I spent more time with SCA folks specifically than town folks. I bet those folks aren't thinking about going to holiday fairs or other things similar to SCA events...
Is going to a fair or an event as important as having enough to eat or having electricity and heat? Hardly, and yet some folks will go to these things because they've "earned" it, or they "need" it to de-stress. There are cheaper ways to de-stress, even if getting out of the house is one of the pre-requisites for the de-stressing. I think a lot of it is a social/modern cultural thing, because although my mom "needed" a trip to a big city once in a while (while we lived in Northampton), most of the time her way of de-stressing was to garden or take a long soak in the tub.
In Sharon Astyk's post this week on little things we'd like to have during a long emergency, I mentioned rovings and yarn for spinning and knitting, etc., and someone else said she'd thought of that but didn't mention it because it was useful -- but these activities can also be a good way of de-stressing, relaxing, and be a cause of enjoyment (I have some very cool rovings and yarn!).
If I weren't in the SCA, I wouldn't be traveling as much, for sure. But a lot of my friends are in the SCA, and also L and I currently have responsibilities, not only as baron and baroness, but there's the choir as well. And as hobbies go, it has the possibility of having a smaller carbon footprint than some others.
So I wonder if I can still be involved in the SCA at my current level, when I read about things like what's happening in Greenland, or about all the pollution that's happening everywhere. I could be doing more to cut down on waste, I'm sure. But the SCA's been a part of what I do for more than half my life, and I know if we were to drop out that we'd probably never see some people again. Not because they won't have anything to do with non-SCA people, just that the hobby does tend to eat up available social time... And I do enjoy the time I spend with folks, for sure. But would it be acceptable for us not to go to Pennsic? Would we need to step down? And then there's the fact that we seem to have a dearth of suitable candidates -- no, truly, there doesn't seem to be anyone that would draw a large number of folks to vote for them, besides L and me right now. I don't want the group to suffer, as they're family, in a way. And there are some signs in the SCA of people being more aware of travel issues, so perhaps we can transition to a different way of doing things...
Blargh. That about summons this up for me. Too much going on, too much to do, and so much not getting done. I get overwhelmed sometimes by it all, and end up not doing much at all. Which is better than some years ago when, if feeling overwhelmed, I could literally end up just standing in the middle of a room, unable to figure out what direction to go in first. So at least something gets done. It's the being stuck between worlds (SCA, non-SCA, present and future) that undoes me.
When we got home I was reading more on ice shelves cracking (northern part of Greenland!), ice melt in the arctic (polar bears having to swim farther and farther to get to land or an iceberg, with more of them not surviving), etc. Harder and harder to justify driving very much. As it is we'll be staying home from one of the two family weddings because it's in Indiana. We're considering a trip to Rhinebeck, NY (NY Sheep and Wool Show), which is a day-trip for us (although we could camp out in the back of our van and make it a two-day thing). I don't know, maybe we should skip Rhinebeck... although since L can't make it to Fiber Twist this year, maybe we should do Rhinebeck and then I'll stay home from Fiber Twist. I suppose I could go do some things with friends, as long as we carpool -- no way can I justify driving around in the minivan by myself.
And of course now that I've been to CA this summer, my mom's pressuring for another trip out there. And then apparently there's an expectation that when she goes to do whatever they're doing with giving a lot of her Chinese studies research materials to the Library of Congress, that I'll be there as well. ?? All I'm doing is re-typing the chapters of her book for her -- officially anyway. I also help to keep her on track from time to time, and because the quality of her writing isn't what it was before this past spring's series of health issues, I've taken to correcting some of her writing without asking her anymore -- only if it's something fairly straightforward, of course.
Family expectations and SCA ("family") expectations make for some difficult choices. Well, for me anyway. Part of the Pennsic issue is that Lyle and I are the landed baron and baroness for our local group, and they expect us to be there. Although in the long run I truly believe none of us should be travelling that far, not only because of using all that fossil fuel but also because a large number of us in our group should be saving that money to use on things like, oh, say, food and medicine.
I know a lot of people in or out of the SCA, feel like they deserve annual vacations. Certainly true in the U.S., and probably true in a number of other places. And not only annual vacations but special weekends here and there, etc. I haven't done a lot of research on this, but I think that vacations as they are currently understood, are kind of a new thing. I don't remember reading anything about them in texts from the 1800s anyway. People had "outings", or if someone was ill they were sent to this place or that to restore their health. There were fairs of course, which are sort of fun and work combined for many of the attendees, even today.
Attendance at Pennsic was over 10,000, but down from last year. It's likely to go down more next year. Despite how some things have gone up over the last month or so, winter is coming, and lots of people are worried about how they're going to get through the winter. I hear more of it up here in the hilltowns, maybe because there are more folks struggling here, but more likely because when I lived in Holyoke I spent more time with SCA folks specifically than town folks. I bet those folks aren't thinking about going to holiday fairs or other things similar to SCA events...
Is going to a fair or an event as important as having enough to eat or having electricity and heat? Hardly, and yet some folks will go to these things because they've "earned" it, or they "need" it to de-stress. There are cheaper ways to de-stress, even if getting out of the house is one of the pre-requisites for the de-stressing. I think a lot of it is a social/modern cultural thing, because although my mom "needed" a trip to a big city once in a while (while we lived in Northampton), most of the time her way of de-stressing was to garden or take a long soak in the tub.
In Sharon Astyk's post this week on little things we'd like to have during a long emergency, I mentioned rovings and yarn for spinning and knitting, etc., and someone else said she'd thought of that but didn't mention it because it was useful -- but these activities can also be a good way of de-stressing, relaxing, and be a cause of enjoyment (I have some very cool rovings and yarn!).
If I weren't in the SCA, I wouldn't be traveling as much, for sure. But a lot of my friends are in the SCA, and also L and I currently have responsibilities, not only as baron and baroness, but there's the choir as well. And as hobbies go, it has the possibility of having a smaller carbon footprint than some others.
So I wonder if I can still be involved in the SCA at my current level, when I read about things like what's happening in Greenland, or about all the pollution that's happening everywhere. I could be doing more to cut down on waste, I'm sure. But the SCA's been a part of what I do for more than half my life, and I know if we were to drop out that we'd probably never see some people again. Not because they won't have anything to do with non-SCA people, just that the hobby does tend to eat up available social time... And I do enjoy the time I spend with folks, for sure. But would it be acceptable for us not to go to Pennsic? Would we need to step down? And then there's the fact that we seem to have a dearth of suitable candidates -- no, truly, there doesn't seem to be anyone that would draw a large number of folks to vote for them, besides L and me right now. I don't want the group to suffer, as they're family, in a way. And there are some signs in the SCA of people being more aware of travel issues, so perhaps we can transition to a different way of doing things...
Blargh. That about summons this up for me. Too much going on, too much to do, and so much not getting done. I get overwhelmed sometimes by it all, and end up not doing much at all. Which is better than some years ago when, if feeling overwhelmed, I could literally end up just standing in the middle of a room, unable to figure out what direction to go in first. So at least something gets done. It's the being stuck between worlds (SCA, non-SCA, present and future) that undoes me.
Wednesday, 9 July 2008
Misc. and Vincula
Misc:
Since the last posting, continued with studies, wrote essays, ritual, and about special project, and was accepted for being inducted as a Companion in the AODA. Themselves visited in June, which was a splendid visit and we got to take them to the Sunwheel, Walden's Pond, the Awen Tree (for giving their lectures), and of course around the farm. Both L and I were both made Companions during their visit, and S was made an Adept, and also an Archbishop in the UGF and Archdruid of the East for the AODA. A wild time indeed!
Since then, mostly been a bit out of focus, having a hard time settling on any one thing without quite often _literally_ falling asleep. So I'm sort of doing a light multi-tasking thing right now -- about what I can handle in this weather anyway -- and touching briefly on things as they come to my attention. Picked up an interesting brief contact from CA when I was first really looking at the wildfires. No vindictiveness or malice, just satisfaction that the fires were clearing out all the brush -- long overdue. Unfortunate for the folks living there, but the land is actually coming back into balance, strange as that might sound to some folks. Even the mayor pro-tem for one of the threatened communities commented that the nearby brush had been needing clearing for 50 years...
*******************
Most of my dreams have been quite fragmentary, but one word stuck from one of them, even though I've been forgetting to looking up for the past few weeks.... vincula. No, no idea...
So, looking it up....
***
Vincula:
From a medical dictionary,
Vin·cu·lum (v
ng
ky
-lm)
***
Also found a company called Vincula Industries, Inc. Here's their cover mission statement:
***
Then there is St. Peter ad Vincula (St. Peter in Chains/Bonds), in Pennal, Wales:
http://www.castlewales.com/pennal_church.html
And this one in England (it is the Welsh church's sister chapel in London, at the Tower):
http://www.st-peter-ad-vincula.org.uk/history.html
There is a third in N. Lincolnshire, but it doesn't appear to be connected to the other two.
I found the first church interesting as it was founded in the 6th century by Celts from Brittany, and also Owain Glyndwr visited Pennal in 1406. The last assembly of a free Wales was at this church, summoned together by Owain Glyndwr.
The churchyard is an oval, which would suggest a pre-Christian sacred site.
Couple other tidbits from the Castlewales site:
11. Throughout the Middle Ages, Pennal was one of three chapels-of-ease that came under the care of Tywyn Church, the other two being Llanfihangel-y-Pennant and Llanfair (Tal-y-Llyn).
12. Green Man in the East Window is the only stained glass version of this ancient figure in any church or chapel in Wales, and probably also in England.
I note 11. because L and I have leapt back into reading The Dark Is Rising sequence, and are currently reading The Grey King. Interesting that I finally get around to looking up Vincula at this point, hm? Because right now we are at the point where Will has found out out the old name of Tal-y-Llyn. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tal-y-llyn_Lake)
***
Then there was the weirdness of it apparently being the name for the center of a Borg ship -- although since they're all connected to one another, I guess that's as good a name as any. I stopped looking after I came across the handcuff site...
***
So, unity, bond, tie, connection, restriction, limit. Wonder which one(s) pertained to the dream? Now that I've looked it up, if it comes up again maybe I'll remember more of the dream. All I really remember of the dream was that it was one of those types where a small group of people were on a mission of some sort, sigh. Not sure what for, but I believe it was information-gathering.
Got that down finally. Back to being hot and muddling along best I can on things.
Since the last posting, continued with studies, wrote essays, ritual, and about special project, and was accepted for being inducted as a Companion in the AODA. Themselves visited in June, which was a splendid visit and we got to take them to the Sunwheel, Walden's Pond, the Awen Tree (for giving their lectures), and of course around the farm. Both L and I were both made Companions during their visit, and S was made an Adept, and also an Archbishop in the UGF and Archdruid of the East for the AODA. A wild time indeed!
Since then, mostly been a bit out of focus, having a hard time settling on any one thing without quite often _literally_ falling asleep. So I'm sort of doing a light multi-tasking thing right now -- about what I can handle in this weather anyway -- and touching briefly on things as they come to my attention. Picked up an interesting brief contact from CA when I was first really looking at the wildfires. No vindictiveness or malice, just satisfaction that the fires were clearing out all the brush -- long overdue. Unfortunate for the folks living there, but the land is actually coming back into balance, strange as that might sound to some folks. Even the mayor pro-tem for one of the threatened communities commented that the nearby brush had been needing clearing for 50 years...
*******************
Most of my dreams have been quite fragmentary, but one word stuck from one of them, even though I've been forgetting to looking up for the past few weeks.... vincula. No, no idea...
So, looking it up....
***
Vincula:
From a medical dictionary,
Vin·cu·lum (v
ngky-lm)n. pl. vin·cu·lums or vin·cu·la (-l)
From Merriam-Webster:) A uniting band or bandlike structure, such as a frenum or ligament.
Note: Plural is vincula. Also, from other sites, it ties/unites, but also limits movement. In the case of the body, this generally a good thing, because otherwise mammals would have a harder time moving in a coordinated fashion :D
***
Note: Plural is vincula. Also, from other sites, it ties/unites, but also limits movement. In the case of the body, this generally a good thing, because otherwise mammals would have a harder time moving in a coordinated fashion :D
***
- Main Entry:
- vin·cu·lum
- Pronunciation:
- \ˈviŋ-kyə-ləm\
- Function:
- noun
- Inflected Form(s):
- plural vin·cu·lums or vin·cu·la
\-lə\
- Etymology:
- Latin, from vincire to bind
- Date:
- 1661
1 : a unifying bond : link, tie 2 : a straight horizontal mark placed over two or more members of a compound mathematical expression and equivalent to parentheses or brackets about them (as in a-b-c=a-[b-c])
***
Also found a company called Vincula Industries, Inc. Here's their cover mission statement:
We are the Connection. We at Vincula see ourselves as a conduit or channel delivering the best in American products, technology and services to a worldwide client base.
***
Then there is St. Peter ad Vincula (St. Peter in Chains/Bonds), in Pennal, Wales:
http://www.castlewales.com/pennal_church.html
And this one in England (it is the Welsh church's sister chapel in London, at the Tower):
http://www.st-peter-ad-vincula.org.uk/history.html
There is a third in N. Lincolnshire, but it doesn't appear to be connected to the other two.
I found the first church interesting as it was founded in the 6th century by Celts from Brittany, and also Owain Glyndwr visited Pennal in 1406. The last assembly of a free Wales was at this church, summoned together by Owain Glyndwr.
The churchyard is an oval, which would suggest a pre-Christian sacred site.
Couple other tidbits from the Castlewales site:
11. Throughout the Middle Ages, Pennal was one of three chapels-of-ease that came under the care of Tywyn Church, the other two being Llanfihangel-y-Pennant and Llanfair (Tal-y-Llyn).
12. Green Man in the East Window is the only stained glass version of this ancient figure in any church or chapel in Wales, and probably also in England.
I note 11. because L and I have leapt back into reading The Dark Is Rising sequence, and are currently reading The Grey King. Interesting that I finally get around to looking up Vincula at this point, hm? Because right now we are at the point where Will has found out out the old name of Tal-y-Llyn. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tal-y-llyn_Lake)
***
Then there was the weirdness of it apparently being the name for the center of a Borg ship -- although since they're all connected to one another, I guess that's as good a name as any. I stopped looking after I came across the handcuff site...
***
So, unity, bond, tie, connection, restriction, limit. Wonder which one(s) pertained to the dream? Now that I've looked it up, if it comes up again maybe I'll remember more of the dream. All I really remember of the dream was that it was one of those types where a small group of people were on a mission of some sort, sigh. Not sure what for, but I believe it was information-gathering.
Got that down finally. Back to being hot and muddling along best I can on things.
Wednesday, 16 April 2008
'nuther Dream
Meh. More going on than I want to write in detail, but it involved needing to be able to do multiple things at once... Testing a complex ritual because someone had a divination or something that said something bad was going to happen, and it had to be tested immediately, even though a large group ritual was about to start. Had to let myself in the proper gate, carry something from that gate around to where I was supposed to be, then go around the outside to return the item to the original gate... where was the gatekeeper? And there was someone in my position (who wasn't the gatekeeper), helping out which is good, but I hadn't known there would be someone there. And there were some helpful newbies near my spot who stopped me to offer to help in the future, if I could spend the time training them (um, chatting at a ritual? really, really new people...).
Oy. I felt bad because someone had had to cover for me, like I wasn't doing my job. And in real life we have folks in the SCA all the time, who instead of looking at what's happening so they can see where the problem spots are and ask about learning about those things, they expect to be spoon-fed -- give them a list of things, so they can check out the menu first, and be led through the process. Mind you, I do sometimes take on people and have them shadow or assist, but... it isn't how I ever worked, so I don't quite understand passive volunteerism. Actually, I don't really understand passive living, for that matter...
First Note: None of the above is in reference to folks in our study group. Although we may all be at different stages of study, experience, skills, everyone is an active learner. Thank goodness for that!
It's a little different with learning about ritual and magical things than what I think of as more everyday activities, because it isn't quite as obvious or simple, if you don't have much background in this kind of thing, as stepping in to help serve tables or wash dishes. Not that I had much trouble with learning these things (aside from memorizing specific wordings), but it isn't everyday stuff for everyone, so I understand that. I still remember being surprised at a woman who came into So-Fro Fabrics years ago, who didn't know how to sew and needed to make a shepherd outfit for her son. I mean, she was older than me, so I figured she must know how to sew! Shows my naivete, I guess.
And while it's highly unlikely that what happened in my dream would happen exactly like that in real life (trust me) -- it's certainly possible for a lot of stuff in general to be happening all at once. So I guess I better get cracking!
Hm, maybe it's time we get more into the roles that people play in a grove. CF noted that this is on the list, discussing the officers' duties. People are getting more practice in the different positions in the rituals, but maybe time to work on some of the nitty-gritty... or maybe I can write some stuff up. Or both. I'm glad people are getting practice in the different positions for rituals though, because it means that if/when some happens, like my having to be somewhere else for some reason, there will be someone who can take my place. Redundancy is a good thing! And everyone gaining more confidence is also a good thing!
Second Note: Didn't recognize anyone in the dream except one, who looked familiar but I wasn't quite sure who it was until I woke up. The man who stood in for me until I could get to and stay at my station looked to be JMG. I was little thrown off the the headgear, which wasn't the usual nemyss. I think it was a gold and red band, like a coronet type of deal, or maybe it could have been a cap of some sort... he has dark hair and it was dark above the red and gold, so it could have been his hair or the top of the hat. Definitely metallic gold and garnets or other clear, deep red stones. But he was wearing the green tabard that JMG wore at BTW last November. Weird... and makes me want to _really_ make sure I'm getting things done on time...
Third Note: Spent a little time today re-reading some of Judy Harrow's book, Spiritual Mentoring, before going on to parts I haven't read yet.
Oy. I felt bad because someone had had to cover for me, like I wasn't doing my job. And in real life we have folks in the SCA all the time, who instead of looking at what's happening so they can see where the problem spots are and ask about learning about those things, they expect to be spoon-fed -- give them a list of things, so they can check out the menu first, and be led through the process. Mind you, I do sometimes take on people and have them shadow or assist, but... it isn't how I ever worked, so I don't quite understand passive volunteerism. Actually, I don't really understand passive living, for that matter...
First Note: None of the above is in reference to folks in our study group. Although we may all be at different stages of study, experience, skills, everyone is an active learner. Thank goodness for that!
It's a little different with learning about ritual and magical things than what I think of as more everyday activities, because it isn't quite as obvious or simple, if you don't have much background in this kind of thing, as stepping in to help serve tables or wash dishes. Not that I had much trouble with learning these things (aside from memorizing specific wordings), but it isn't everyday stuff for everyone, so I understand that. I still remember being surprised at a woman who came into So-Fro Fabrics years ago, who didn't know how to sew and needed to make a shepherd outfit for her son. I mean, she was older than me, so I figured she must know how to sew! Shows my naivete, I guess.
And while it's highly unlikely that what happened in my dream would happen exactly like that in real life (trust me) -- it's certainly possible for a lot of stuff in general to be happening all at once. So I guess I better get cracking!
Hm, maybe it's time we get more into the roles that people play in a grove. CF noted that this is on the list, discussing the officers' duties. People are getting more practice in the different positions in the rituals, but maybe time to work on some of the nitty-gritty... or maybe I can write some stuff up. Or both. I'm glad people are getting practice in the different positions for rituals though, because it means that if/when some happens, like my having to be somewhere else for some reason, there will be someone who can take my place. Redundancy is a good thing! And everyone gaining more confidence is also a good thing!
Second Note: Didn't recognize anyone in the dream except one, who looked familiar but I wasn't quite sure who it was until I woke up. The man who stood in for me until I could get to and stay at my station looked to be JMG. I was little thrown off the the headgear, which wasn't the usual nemyss. I think it was a gold and red band, like a coronet type of deal, or maybe it could have been a cap of some sort... he has dark hair and it was dark above the red and gold, so it could have been his hair or the top of the hat. Definitely metallic gold and garnets or other clear, deep red stones. But he was wearing the green tabard that JMG wore at BTW last November. Weird... and makes me want to _really_ make sure I'm getting things done on time...
Third Note: Spent a little time today re-reading some of Judy Harrow's book, Spiritual Mentoring, before going on to parts I haven't read yet.
Friday, 11 April 2008
Dream
Well, didn't get the cool animals, boat, or deities in ancient dress, but more or less got the same message as Cyfnos Gwynt got some time ago. Hence my latest post of online articles only to a few folks earlier today.
Instead of forest, fields, and a river, I got a hospital or some sort of large building, and a train. And some other buildings in the beginning of the dream, I think... I remember looking at them and being told that I could continue to try to warn the people in the buildings, sending information to them to help them be more aware, and that was a choice I could make. But the strong recommendation was that I should be focusing on getting what I could from that society (materials-wise) only in order to apply it toward our future lives, for a smaller group of people. Basically, I had to choose joining the populace-at-large in their lives, or choose to work closer to home, completing the work that needs doing here. Since the way things are going currently in the work simply isn't working to create a sustainable and responsible way of life, I don't consider that a real choice.
There was a woman in a white coat, but even though she had a lot of medical experience and knowledge, and I was apparently supposed to help her to remember to take her meds. She has a lot of work to do, and needs all the help she can get in making sure her work gets done.
We got on the train and we'd been talking about something and I looked down for a moment, I think to get something out of a bag(?) or to look something up. When I looked up another woman showed up who chastised me for missing giving a pill to the doctor-woman, and that this was really bad thing. I said that I hadn't forgotten all of them, and had made sure she got the one just before the one we missed, and we agreed that the one missed one wasn't a complete disaster. But, I had to pay more attention and make sure she got the next one, which she was supposed to get in 6 hours.
Time amounts can be relative, considering I missed one of the pill times simply by looking down for a moment. We'd talked about the world and how it was all going, and the need to accomplish a lot of our projects. I didn't get much of an idea that there was anything new I need to be doing, aside from everything I'm already doing or starting to do. So I guess I need to focus more on getting more things done, and less on posting stuff or talking to people about all the events that are really happening in plain sight, if one is paying any attention at all.
Meanwhile, I still have the obligations of typing for my mom's book and of course the great new project with JMG of the Ogham deck to go with his book. The bits of income from those (one current and one future), plus the other odds and ends of working locally, are part of being able to bring some of the projects into fruition. Nevertheless, I have to pick up the pace, work harder on getting in shape, learning new things, clearing out stuff, etc.
The project with JMG looks like it may be contribute in other ways, as I have to really think things through for each card, learning more about trees, geometry, etc. An excellent project indeed!
Meantime, more work to do!
Instead of forest, fields, and a river, I got a hospital or some sort of large building, and a train. And some other buildings in the beginning of the dream, I think... I remember looking at them and being told that I could continue to try to warn the people in the buildings, sending information to them to help them be more aware, and that was a choice I could make. But the strong recommendation was that I should be focusing on getting what I could from that society (materials-wise) only in order to apply it toward our future lives, for a smaller group of people. Basically, I had to choose joining the populace-at-large in their lives, or choose to work closer to home, completing the work that needs doing here. Since the way things are going currently in the work simply isn't working to create a sustainable and responsible way of life, I don't consider that a real choice.
There was a woman in a white coat, but even though she had a lot of medical experience and knowledge, and I was apparently supposed to help her to remember to take her meds. She has a lot of work to do, and needs all the help she can get in making sure her work gets done.
We got on the train and we'd been talking about something and I looked down for a moment, I think to get something out of a bag(?) or to look something up. When I looked up another woman showed up who chastised me for missing giving a pill to the doctor-woman, and that this was really bad thing. I said that I hadn't forgotten all of them, and had made sure she got the one just before the one we missed, and we agreed that the one missed one wasn't a complete disaster. But, I had to pay more attention and make sure she got the next one, which she was supposed to get in 6 hours.
Time amounts can be relative, considering I missed one of the pill times simply by looking down for a moment. We'd talked about the world and how it was all going, and the need to accomplish a lot of our projects. I didn't get much of an idea that there was anything new I need to be doing, aside from everything I'm already doing or starting to do. So I guess I need to focus more on getting more things done, and less on posting stuff or talking to people about all the events that are really happening in plain sight, if one is paying any attention at all.
Meanwhile, I still have the obligations of typing for my mom's book and of course the great new project with JMG of the Ogham deck to go with his book. The bits of income from those (one current and one future), plus the other odds and ends of working locally, are part of being able to bring some of the projects into fruition. Nevertheless, I have to pick up the pace, work harder on getting in shape, learning new things, clearing out stuff, etc.
The project with JMG looks like it may be contribute in other ways, as I have to really think things through for each card, learning more about trees, geometry, etc. An excellent project indeed!
Meantime, more work to do!
Additional Thought on Last Post
Have a magical connection while standing in hot tub, is sort of a real life reflection of my grove in some ways (except warmer -- don't want to cook the creatures that come by to visit the grove).
Haven't written about my personal astral grove here, but there's a pool that takes up the center of the grove, and in fact one way to enter the grove is from under the water. The gateways are on the land that surrounds the pool, but when I use an altar or do any work there, it is in or just over the center of the pool, depending on the type of work.
Haven't written about my personal astral grove here, but there's a pool that takes up the center of the grove, and in fact one way to enter the grove is from under the water. The gateways are on the land that surrounds the pool, but when I use an altar or do any work there, it is in or just over the center of the pool, depending on the type of work.
Friday, 4 April 2008
Birthday
I wrote about the various things I got to do on my birthday on my LJ, but this is in particular about going to East Heaven Hot Tubs. L and I favor their older, more traditional tubs, which are deep dark wood tubs, not the shallow plastic resin ones. Each room is a little different too. This one has a wood deck even with about half of the tub's rim. Part of it is against one of the shower walls, and past that bit of wall you can see the farther shower wall, which has a curve of blue tile on it, a sort of moon shape going onto the third wall of the shower area. The remainder of the tub edge is open to the walking/changing area and the steps leading up to the deck. There is a hanging plant in the space over the shower wall that's against the tub. We had an album by Enigma playing.
I love soaking in a hot tub, definitely a treat and one I don't get too often. And since we'd been going up on the hillsides clearing pipeline, it was more appreciated than usual by both of us.
Sans swimsuits of course, especially since it's just the two of us. I have a bad habit of leaving my swimsuit behind during changing to go home, so it's just as well, really.
Part way through we dispensed with the jets. They're nice for achey muscles, but they're also loud, and they change the dynamics of movement and heat of the water. L was taking a break from the heat, and I was enjoying the music, heat, water, misty air, the feel of moving in a semi-supported environment. Hot tubs of this sort are one of the most pleasant combinations of all the elements.
Something I don't usually do when other people are around is dance to the feel of the energy around me. It has to be a pretty special circumstance, like the one that I took an earlier name from of Moondancer. But this night was a good night for it, so I just slowly got into the feel of my surroundings, and then moved out, expanding, touching, reaching out... and then bringing it back in again. It seemed like a most appropriate time to heal, and more than just aching muscles. A time to celebrate movement and life, to give thanks and to accept strength and purpose.
I've never had much need for tools or prepared rituals, but sometimes they're useful. And certainly when sitting inside a cauldron, I'm not going to turn it down! Dancing in water with a goddess who revels in creation is a powerful thing. I did wonder briefly who it might be, in that most folks like to name the beings they meet, but a name is not terribly relevant to me. More important at the time was to embrace her presence and the gift of sharing space and time together, in such an intense way; something I would gladly do again. And not even knowing her name, still I pledged myself to her service, for I knew her to be a great power of the Earth.
When Cyfnos Gwynt mentioned in another post that she thought Ceridwen and I would be doing work together, that name fit for me. In fact, since some pagans relate Ceridwen to the full moon, it may be that I was dancing with her 25 years ago. That feels right to me as well.
Wales and parts of Britain have called to me since before I knew its name. As a child I traveled there in my dreams. Perhaps it was Her calling, and a few others, all the time. I left for a little while and traveled afar, life having its way with me, but now is the time for journeying home.
I love soaking in a hot tub, definitely a treat and one I don't get too often. And since we'd been going up on the hillsides clearing pipeline, it was more appreciated than usual by both of us.
Sans swimsuits of course, especially since it's just the two of us. I have a bad habit of leaving my swimsuit behind during changing to go home, so it's just as well, really.
Part way through we dispensed with the jets. They're nice for achey muscles, but they're also loud, and they change the dynamics of movement and heat of the water. L was taking a break from the heat, and I was enjoying the music, heat, water, misty air, the feel of moving in a semi-supported environment. Hot tubs of this sort are one of the most pleasant combinations of all the elements.
Something I don't usually do when other people are around is dance to the feel of the energy around me. It has to be a pretty special circumstance, like the one that I took an earlier name from of Moondancer. But this night was a good night for it, so I just slowly got into the feel of my surroundings, and then moved out, expanding, touching, reaching out... and then bringing it back in again. It seemed like a most appropriate time to heal, and more than just aching muscles. A time to celebrate movement and life, to give thanks and to accept strength and purpose.
I've never had much need for tools or prepared rituals, but sometimes they're useful. And certainly when sitting inside a cauldron, I'm not going to turn it down! Dancing in water with a goddess who revels in creation is a powerful thing. I did wonder briefly who it might be, in that most folks like to name the beings they meet, but a name is not terribly relevant to me. More important at the time was to embrace her presence and the gift of sharing space and time together, in such an intense way; something I would gladly do again. And not even knowing her name, still I pledged myself to her service, for I knew her to be a great power of the Earth.
When Cyfnos Gwynt mentioned in another post that she thought Ceridwen and I would be doing work together, that name fit for me. In fact, since some pagans relate Ceridwen to the full moon, it may be that I was dancing with her 25 years ago. That feels right to me as well.
Wales and parts of Britain have called to me since before I knew its name. As a child I traveled there in my dreams. Perhaps it was Her calling, and a few others, all the time. I left for a little while and traveled afar, life having its way with me, but now is the time for journeying home.
Thursday, 3 April 2008
Cer(r)idwen
There isn't a lot known about the Welsh goddess Ceridwen, the bits of knowledge being scattered here and there. There is some thought that originally she was a corn goddess (found that tidbit over at About.com). She is often thought of as the Crone. Some take this to mean ugly, but older women, as I know from experience, can still be quite lovely ;) But regardless of outer appearance, the important part is that she is a mature person with years of experience and knowledge. She is supposed to have the gift of prophecy (but apparently only of other people's futures, not her own), and is the keeper of a cauldron of wisdom and inspiration.
The About.com article on her as the keeper of the cauldron says "Cerridwen is often granted the status of Crone, which in turn equates her with the darker aspect of the Triple Goddess.
***
From research on the name, in relation to use for naming of humans outside of myths, "Ceridwen was the goddess of poetic inspiration and the mother of Taliesin, the legendary bard. Her name may derive from ceiridd, a form of cerdd "song, poetry" and gwen "white" ".
From Wikipedia entry on Ceridwen, "From the Welsh cerydd, "chiding love", and gwen, "white, blessed". The theonym appears to be derived from Romano-British *Caritavena, Proto-Celtic *Karjitā-wenā a feminine compound meaning "chastisement-love" or "chiding love" "
I could sort of understand the second meaning if it might be referring to her being chastised for trying to give her son Mofran/Affagdu wisdom, rather than he helping with attaining it himself or her stirring the cauldron herself (true wisdom being only gained through one's own efforts, not through someone else's). But the first meaning makes more sense to me, because she was supposed to be a great sorceress/witch, and even when she was angry at gwion for inadvertently taking the gift of wisdom, she couldn't destroy what was not only beautiful, but full of wisdom as well. The tale of Taliesin only says that it was because he was so beautiful, but if she valued wisdom, knowledge, and creativity, I can't see her destroying that knowledge. Eating Gwion as the grain wasn't destruction really, because the gift was held within her until it was time for it to come forth once again.
***
The number of children Ceridwen had is also a question. Many stories name two, but one site mentioned one daughter, Creirwy, and two sons, Morfran (with no positive attributes) and Mofran (ugly but a great warrior). Then, if you check out Ceridwen's husband, Tegid Foel at Wikipedia, there are mentions of other children. Specifically, "Apart from Creirwy and Morfran the Welsh genealogies also name other children of Tegid. The Vitae Sanctorum Britanniae et Genealogiae gives the following lineage: "Afan Buellt son of Cedig son of Ceredig son of Cunedda Wledig by Degfed ["Tenth"] daughter of Tegid Foel"; Rawlins MS B gives another genealogy naming another daughter, Dwywai". Possibly Ceridwen and Tegid had only two children at the time of the incident with the cauldron and young Gwion.
***
Next, there is Ceridwen's cauldron. One site calls it Amen, but they have a number of typos at their site, so I expect they meant Annun/Annwn/Annwfn. Also, this wouldn't be the name of the cauldron, but of the place the cauldron came from (the otherworld). More than one cauldron is mentioned in stories/poems about the otherworld.
What's interesting to me is that Ceridwen's cauldron has to do with poetry, song, knowledge, wisdom. Bran's cauldron can bring people back to life. But when I was first getting involved in the Wiccan tradition years ago, I have this odd recollection that the two had been combined... now, Ceridwen being a powerful and knowledgeable woman, could certainly have been a healer as well as a poet. Ooo, found a reference to the cauldron being both for magic/inspiration and re-birth at the above-mentioned About.com article on C and her cauldron...
I have to wonder at including resurrection... of course Taliesin was re-born, so I suppose that might be where the idea came from -- although that's really reincarnation.
***
If Morfran had received the three drops instead of Taliesin, he would have been accepted in polite society, probably have gotten married, and no doubt dispensed valuable knowledge to all who came to his court. I don't know if he would have traveled, because we don't hear anything about his character, nor is he involved in anyway with the work of creating the three drops. Instead, Gwion, who did the stirring for a year, acquires them, these precious drops that were created out of the work and knowledge of Ceridwen, in a special cauldron, heated by a fire fed by a blind servant. Then there is the chase (test/challenges of the knowledge?), and then being caught and re-born as a new person. Taliesin then is sent out into the world, advises much, travels more, and records important historical events.
So then, if one has Cerridwen as a patron, the tasks one has might include learning many kinds of knowledge, but also the promoting of learning to others. And there are all the facets/types of learning... magic, healing, divination, poetry, the inspiration that leads to creativity of all sorts.
As to why I'm writing about Ceridwen in particular, something interesting happened on my birthday, which I've been meaning to write about, and will, soon. But at some point after my birthday, Cyfnos Gwynt made a comment somewhere that she thought Ceridwen and I would be getting more involved somehow this year, and it struck me that this was probably a good naming for what happened.
The About.com article on her as the keeper of the cauldron says "Cerridwen is often granted the status of Crone, which in turn equates her with the darker aspect of the Triple Goddess.
As a goddess of the Underworld, Cerridwen is often symbolized by a white sow, which represents both her fecundity and fertility and her strength as a mother. She is both the Mother and the Crone; many modern Pagans honor Cerridwen for her close association to the full moon."
This puts her in the position of two out of three aspects of the Goddess. Interesting... One thing I don't like about people using the word "dark" is that some folks tends to think this means "bad" or "evil". Of course, some people think knowledge is bad -- anything they don't approve of, at any rate! Knowledge is knowledge; how one uses it is where the opinion of good or bad belongs.
***
From research on the name, in relation to use for naming of humans outside of myths, "Ceridwen was the goddess of poetic inspiration and the mother of Taliesin, the legendary bard. Her name may derive from ceiridd, a form of cerdd "song, poetry" and gwen "white" ".
From Wikipedia entry on Ceridwen, "From the Welsh cerydd, "chiding love", and gwen, "white, blessed". The theonym appears to be derived from Romano-British *Caritavena, Proto-Celtic *Karjitā-wenā a feminine compound meaning "chastisement-love" or "chiding love" "
I could sort of understand the second meaning if it might be referring to her being chastised for trying to give her son Mofran/Affagdu wisdom, rather than he helping with attaining it himself or her stirring the cauldron herself (true wisdom being only gained through one's own efforts, not through someone else's). But the first meaning makes more sense to me, because she was supposed to be a great sorceress/witch, and even when she was angry at gwion for inadvertently taking the gift of wisdom, she couldn't destroy what was not only beautiful, but full of wisdom as well. The tale of Taliesin only says that it was because he was so beautiful, but if she valued wisdom, knowledge, and creativity, I can't see her destroying that knowledge. Eating Gwion as the grain wasn't destruction really, because the gift was held within her until it was time for it to come forth once again.
***
The number of children Ceridwen had is also a question. Many stories name two, but one site mentioned one daughter, Creirwy, and two sons, Morfran (with no positive attributes) and Mofran (ugly but a great warrior). Then, if you check out Ceridwen's husband, Tegid Foel at Wikipedia, there are mentions of other children. Specifically, "Apart from Creirwy and Morfran the Welsh genealogies also name other children of Tegid. The Vitae Sanctorum Britanniae et Genealogiae gives the following lineage: "Afan Buellt son of Cedig son of Ceredig son of Cunedda Wledig by Degfed ["Tenth"] daughter of Tegid Foel"; Rawlins MS B gives another genealogy naming another daughter, Dwywai". Possibly Ceridwen and Tegid had only two children at the time of the incident with the cauldron and young Gwion.
***
Next, there is Ceridwen's cauldron. One site calls it Amen, but they have a number of typos at their site, so I expect they meant Annun/Annwn/Annwfn. Also, this wouldn't be the name of the cauldron, but of the place the cauldron came from (the otherworld). More than one cauldron is mentioned in stories/poems about the otherworld.
What's interesting to me is that Ceridwen's cauldron has to do with poetry, song, knowledge, wisdom. Bran's cauldron can bring people back to life. But when I was first getting involved in the Wiccan tradition years ago, I have this odd recollection that the two had been combined... now, Ceridwen being a powerful and knowledgeable woman, could certainly have been a healer as well as a poet. Ooo, found a reference to the cauldron being both for magic/inspiration and re-birth at the above-mentioned About.com article on C and her cauldron...
I have to wonder at including resurrection... of course Taliesin was re-born, so I suppose that might be where the idea came from -- although that's really reincarnation.
***
If Morfran had received the three drops instead of Taliesin, he would have been accepted in polite society, probably have gotten married, and no doubt dispensed valuable knowledge to all who came to his court. I don't know if he would have traveled, because we don't hear anything about his character, nor is he involved in anyway with the work of creating the three drops. Instead, Gwion, who did the stirring for a year, acquires them, these precious drops that were created out of the work and knowledge of Ceridwen, in a special cauldron, heated by a fire fed by a blind servant. Then there is the chase (test/challenges of the knowledge?), and then being caught and re-born as a new person. Taliesin then is sent out into the world, advises much, travels more, and records important historical events.
So then, if one has Cerridwen as a patron, the tasks one has might include learning many kinds of knowledge, but also the promoting of learning to others. And there are all the facets/types of learning... magic, healing, divination, poetry, the inspiration that leads to creativity of all sorts.
As to why I'm writing about Ceridwen in particular, something interesting happened on my birthday, which I've been meaning to write about, and will, soon. But at some point after my birthday, Cyfnos Gwynt made a comment somewhere that she thought Ceridwen and I would be getting more involved somehow this year, and it struck me that this was probably a good naming for what happened.
Thursday, 21 February 2008
Readings, Divination
The poem I posted last week (post previous to this one) came out of a series of experiences while looking for some stuff for Novice Schola (which I never found, but it all worked out). I was getting frustrated because I knew I'd seen what I was looking for but couldn't find it. These days that tends to mean that I should be doing something else, or finding a different way to achieve my goal.
Going down to the sugarhouse I passed Old Faithful, one of the largest sugar maples on the farm. Being polite, I gave it greetings, and also some energy as it was feeling a little cranky with the weather. There was a very small branch on the driveway, with a single 'Y' branching at the end of it. I left it there at the time because after all, there are a lot of branches on the ground on the farm.
Leaving the sugarhouse, I was quite aggravated finally, this being my last place to look for things, but hearing the river I decided it was a good time to just stop and relax and meditate. It was peaceful at first -- easy enough as I adore this little river. But as I expanded my awareness outward, some truths were spoken to me, which I thought about and accepted, more deeply than perhaps I had before. Truths about the state of our world, though not everyone would agree, of course. After a time, I proceeded back up past Old Faithful, again giving greetings to this wonderful old tree, and this time when I came to the small branch, I felt that I should indeed pick it up. And it is from the feelings and thoughts that I received as I held it, that the poem was written.
***
Did a "what's up" divination yesterday, sort of a heads-up for February. Then, upon further thought while moving stuff from the sugarhouse to the barn (isn't walking meditation great?), considering what happened last week and the divination/talk with Duskwind before that, I thought I'd try something different.
Usually, I think about particular projects or plans that L and I considering and ask questions that relate to them, including things like "would next month be a good time to consider x?" And I do the "what's up" divinations as well, but usually only for the next month or so.
So, today I did some more work moving things, lighter stuff than yesterday because of various complaints :D At one point the grove on the hill called to me, and I answered that I really couldn't walk up there, between the cold and the hard crust. Maybe with Wind Deer's help, but not on my own. But I promised I would do the divinations today, and include the grove astrally.
In fact I included my own astral grove, the grove on the hill, the spirit of the spring up in South Pasture, the land around us, Andraste, Brigid, Cernunnos, Taliesin, the spirits of the four elements/directions, the great bear.... seemed like quite the crowd, in fact. I also lit my Brigid candle that I'd gotten at BTW in November, as I thought that would help with my focus in the divinations.
Since I was going to do several readings, I used the I Ching coins. I don't have an Ogham deck yet, and this is a quick enough method that I figured I'd have enough stamina for it. I did a "What's Up?" divination for each month, from March - January (Feb. was already done). I haven't done this many at one time before, so it was a little tiring. A few times I paused to re-center.
It was an interesting exercise. I'll continue to do other divinations through the year of course, but it gave a sort of overview which will be helpful.
Preparation, study, meditation, learning new skills, periods of quiet and periods of connecting with some folks. June through August look kind of interesting, with a higher point of activity in September. October is another inward month in some ways (inward doesn't mean quiet). November looks to be busy.
December also looks to be busy, in part adapting to a great change in circumstances (11 Pervading. Change line Six Above: "The walls fall down. The prosperous city will fall. But do not call out the legions. This has fate and higher authority behind it. Fighting it will only bring shame and confusion. Your destiny is in disarray. You will need to concentrate anew.") Change isn't always a bad thing, if you know what direction to go in -- the relating figure for this one is 26: Great Accumulating.
Some repeating themes are letting go of the past, letting go of the old. Seeking new ways, true ways. Being small, subtle, adaptive, determined but not close-minded. Should be interesting.
Going down to the sugarhouse I passed Old Faithful, one of the largest sugar maples on the farm. Being polite, I gave it greetings, and also some energy as it was feeling a little cranky with the weather. There was a very small branch on the driveway, with a single 'Y' branching at the end of it. I left it there at the time because after all, there are a lot of branches on the ground on the farm.
Leaving the sugarhouse, I was quite aggravated finally, this being my last place to look for things, but hearing the river I decided it was a good time to just stop and relax and meditate. It was peaceful at first -- easy enough as I adore this little river. But as I expanded my awareness outward, some truths were spoken to me, which I thought about and accepted, more deeply than perhaps I had before. Truths about the state of our world, though not everyone would agree, of course. After a time, I proceeded back up past Old Faithful, again giving greetings to this wonderful old tree, and this time when I came to the small branch, I felt that I should indeed pick it up. And it is from the feelings and thoughts that I received as I held it, that the poem was written.
***
Did a "what's up" divination yesterday, sort of a heads-up for February. Then, upon further thought while moving stuff from the sugarhouse to the barn (isn't walking meditation great?), considering what happened last week and the divination/talk with Duskwind before that, I thought I'd try something different.
Usually, I think about particular projects or plans that L and I considering and ask questions that relate to them, including things like "would next month be a good time to consider x?" And I do the "what's up" divinations as well, but usually only for the next month or so.
So, today I did some more work moving things, lighter stuff than yesterday because of various complaints :D At one point the grove on the hill called to me, and I answered that I really couldn't walk up there, between the cold and the hard crust. Maybe with Wind Deer's help, but not on my own. But I promised I would do the divinations today, and include the grove astrally.
In fact I included my own astral grove, the grove on the hill, the spirit of the spring up in South Pasture, the land around us, Andraste, Brigid, Cernunnos, Taliesin, the spirits of the four elements/directions, the great bear.... seemed like quite the crowd, in fact. I also lit my Brigid candle that I'd gotten at BTW in November, as I thought that would help with my focus in the divinations.
Since I was going to do several readings, I used the I Ching coins. I don't have an Ogham deck yet, and this is a quick enough method that I figured I'd have enough stamina for it. I did a "What's Up?" divination for each month, from March - January (Feb. was already done). I haven't done this many at one time before, so it was a little tiring. A few times I paused to re-center.
It was an interesting exercise. I'll continue to do other divinations through the year of course, but it gave a sort of overview which will be helpful.
Preparation, study, meditation, learning new skills, periods of quiet and periods of connecting with some folks. June through August look kind of interesting, with a higher point of activity in September. October is another inward month in some ways (inward doesn't mean quiet). November looks to be busy.
December also looks to be busy, in part adapting to a great change in circumstances (11 Pervading. Change line Six Above: "The walls fall down. The prosperous city will fall. But do not call out the legions. This has fate and higher authority behind it. Fighting it will only bring shame and confusion. Your destiny is in disarray. You will need to concentrate anew.") Change isn't always a bad thing, if you know what direction to go in -- the relating figure for this one is 26: Great Accumulating.
Some repeating themes are letting go of the past, letting go of the old. Seeking new ways, true ways. Being small, subtle, adaptive, determined but not close-minded. Should be interesting.
Friday, 15 February 2008
What the river and the lichened branch told me
Great are the hurts,
Many the wanton wasters.
Unchecked, utter ruin.
From whence comes salvation?
A great storm comes,
Vast in breadth, deeply reaching.
Land and sea feel the change.
The mother defends her own.
Many the wanton wasters.
Unchecked, utter ruin.
From whence comes salvation?
A great storm comes,
Vast in breadth, deeply reaching.
Land and sea feel the change.
The mother defends her own.
Friday, 4 January 2008
By any other name...
Carw Gwynt and I are currently studying for the 2nd degree in AODA. One of the things to consider is becoming official/legal priests. We can do that, assuming completing the the curriculum requirements and approval -- get a letter from the Grand Archdruid, send in a copy of the certificate, pay the fees, etc.
It's definitely food for thought. Over the years I've certainly fulfilled many of the duties and responsibilities, from the mundane to the sublime. Setting things up, getting supplies, working in the circle and now grove, teaching, advising (usually life stuff, but some spiritual too), etc. It's always an honor and a privilege to be able to do so. And yet....
And yet, I've never really thought of myself as a 'religious person', or cleric if you will. Cyfnos Gwynt offers blessings freely, whether in person or at the end of a blog post or email post, and it just seems so natural coming from her. The closest I come is signing something "take care" or "be well" -- although I am more often offering to add my prayers and energy to speeding someone's recovery, if they wish it, these days. Still.
But I feel that people like my former Episcopal ministers and Cyfnos Gwynt live a more spiritual life -- the kind of life I picture for a priest. My life, through choice (promises to keep), is largely in and of the world at this time. This may or may not change after this coming summer -- Carw Gwynt seems to think we might still be able to remain as baron and baroness of the local SCA group, even if we stop going to Pennsic. We need more local activities anyway, but I'd like to combine them with things I want to do in my regular life, as much as possible (like workshops on things that can be useful in everyday life, not just in the SCA). Our Grandarchdruid works as a writer, true, but his books pertain to either druidry or to the state of the world and our place in it -- also druidical. And the other Archdruid (of the West) I know, Oakmouse, does research for a church (hope I got that right).
Then on LJ this week, Rising_Moon related how she finally told her mother that she's in seminary to become a priestess, in the British Wiccan Tradition. She works full-time at a regular job, but is comfortable with being able to do both, and this has helped my perspective.
It's funny, but I guess despite my love of nature and the deep spiritual connections I feel to it, I haven't really thought of myself as being extraordinary enough to be a cleric. It doesn't make sense, given I've done most everything that a priest might do (well, no weddings of course). A priestess in all but name.
In some ways it's a little like practicing martial arts but not actually being a warrior. Cfynos Gwynt is that, no doubt. And past lives or no, I've not had to prove myself in that respect in this life -- and hope to never have to. Although this week I've been randomly visualizing using a sling, so I guess I better make one this spring.... Anyway, there is a difference between theory and practice, and between practice and the actual event. And apparently, for me anyway, there is a difference between being something and giving that something a name.
I very rarely name things; if you know a thing's nature, the name pales in comparison. Names are useful for referring to a thing, usually when communicating with another person. And maybe that's where the rub is for me.... it's one thing for me to know that I do priestly things, and another for other people to refer to me as a priestess. In the days of the old coven, we had a high priest and a high priestess and the rest of us were elders. I also had the title Monitor, and also helped with setup, education, counseling, etc. (not the only one, but I did a lot of it, esp. education). Then I went solo, and being solo it didn't really seem right to refer to myself as a priestess.
So, I guess it's time to make that decision, whether or not it's all right to be called a priestess. I had the same issues with being made a Laurel (SCA peerage recognition for Arts & Sciences). In fact I made a conscious decision for several years to avoid recognition, because I had other duties (my first time as baroness, and then helping to keep the group together after stepping down), and I didn't think I could do justice to additional duties.
And here I am again, a two-times peer in the SCA (2nd was for service), and baroness again. And learning more about the spiritual and ritual aspects of being a druid -- hard for me to think about them in words, when I've simply let everything be blended together most of my life. Hard to separate things out, read the words others have written, then put it all together again... the same and yet different. It's a good thing, but having read so little compared to others, and knowing that on top of that I have to re-learn things I haven't needed in years, and on top of that, the new life we're working on putting together for the future....
I guess I wonder sometimes if I'm thinking too highly of myself, to think I can actually do everything that needs doing. How much strength can I ask for from those around me? Don't the deities have plenty to do already?
Of course, they've given their answer, and more than once. Sacrifices in what things I do or don't do will have to be made. Among those, oddly, will be not reading all the books I am supposed to read -- or at least not this year. I have to read at least parts of some of them, enough to understand the direction of the author's wisdom, to know whether or not I already know what he or she is talking about. Others will be reference books. The 2nd degree curriculum calls for a lot of reading (especially a lot if you have a full life and still have a tendency to fall asleep when reading...). I'll get through the majority of them eventually, but I've been informed that my path isn't to follow the more standard path. Sigh.
Other sacrifices will be who I spend time with, and how much time I spend with them. My time in the SCA is becoming more limited, and so I'm working on spreading out the responsibilities I still have, so that I can still do the most needful things. This year, for instance, I'm working on getting people to recognize who the new class scheduler is for Novice Schola.
This year has the potential to be the year of the nearly impossible...
- Druid studies: reading, meditating, practicing, doing research for and creating an Imbolc ritual (among other things)
- I'm still unpacking, sorting through things, and re-packing/giving away/recycling/tossing things. This will probably be happening off and on all year. I may have to do it more than once for some things, as right now I can't always put the surplus stuff together in once place (physically impossible).
- PT will be happening for some months yet.
- Martial skills have to be learned and/or improved.
- Larger garden this year, and more food preservation
- Work for some SCA events this year. Local events, 12th Night, probably War of the Roses, Pennsic, maybe a few others.
- Preparation for Pennsic, and in particular organization of the Runnymede Dinner that Bergental is hosting
- Visit, probably in June, from the Grand Archdruid and the Archdruid of the West
- Try to schedule a few workshops this year. At least one in bookbinding. Would also like one on using a scythe, to start off the practical skills workshops.
- Weaving
- Painting
- Singing
- Hiking
- Everything else... and none of the above necessarily in the order in which it was written.
- Oh wait, there's one more thing.... very fuzzy, don't know if it will happen, but..... there's the possibility that we could find our new place to live this year -- the permanent place. We'd likely still be living at the farm for the next year, but working on fixing up another place at the same time. If this happens, all theoretical free time will be gone.
So, with all the above to do, the doubts on whether or not I'm worthy (but not for me to decide), am I ready to be called a priestess by other people?
Sure, why not. Let's call the rose a rose.
It's definitely food for thought. Over the years I've certainly fulfilled many of the duties and responsibilities, from the mundane to the sublime. Setting things up, getting supplies, working in the circle and now grove, teaching, advising (usually life stuff, but some spiritual too), etc. It's always an honor and a privilege to be able to do so. And yet....
And yet, I've never really thought of myself as a 'religious person', or cleric if you will. Cyfnos Gwynt offers blessings freely, whether in person or at the end of a blog post or email post, and it just seems so natural coming from her. The closest I come is signing something "take care" or "be well" -- although I am more often offering to add my prayers and energy to speeding someone's recovery, if they wish it, these days. Still.
But I feel that people like my former Episcopal ministers and Cyfnos Gwynt live a more spiritual life -- the kind of life I picture for a priest. My life, through choice (promises to keep), is largely in and of the world at this time. This may or may not change after this coming summer -- Carw Gwynt seems to think we might still be able to remain as baron and baroness of the local SCA group, even if we stop going to Pennsic. We need more local activities anyway, but I'd like to combine them with things I want to do in my regular life, as much as possible (like workshops on things that can be useful in everyday life, not just in the SCA). Our Grandarchdruid works as a writer, true, but his books pertain to either druidry or to the state of the world and our place in it -- also druidical. And the other Archdruid (of the West) I know, Oakmouse, does research for a church (hope I got that right).
Then on LJ this week, Rising_Moon related how she finally told her mother that she's in seminary to become a priestess, in the British Wiccan Tradition. She works full-time at a regular job, but is comfortable with being able to do both, and this has helped my perspective.
It's funny, but I guess despite my love of nature and the deep spiritual connections I feel to it, I haven't really thought of myself as being extraordinary enough to be a cleric. It doesn't make sense, given I've done most everything that a priest might do (well, no weddings of course). A priestess in all but name.
In some ways it's a little like practicing martial arts but not actually being a warrior. Cfynos Gwynt is that, no doubt. And past lives or no, I've not had to prove myself in that respect in this life -- and hope to never have to. Although this week I've been randomly visualizing using a sling, so I guess I better make one this spring.... Anyway, there is a difference between theory and practice, and between practice and the actual event. And apparently, for me anyway, there is a difference between being something and giving that something a name.
I very rarely name things; if you know a thing's nature, the name pales in comparison. Names are useful for referring to a thing, usually when communicating with another person. And maybe that's where the rub is for me.... it's one thing for me to know that I do priestly things, and another for other people to refer to me as a priestess. In the days of the old coven, we had a high priest and a high priestess and the rest of us were elders. I also had the title Monitor, and also helped with setup, education, counseling, etc. (not the only one, but I did a lot of it, esp. education). Then I went solo, and being solo it didn't really seem right to refer to myself as a priestess.
So, I guess it's time to make that decision, whether or not it's all right to be called a priestess. I had the same issues with being made a Laurel (SCA peerage recognition for Arts & Sciences). In fact I made a conscious decision for several years to avoid recognition, because I had other duties (my first time as baroness, and then helping to keep the group together after stepping down), and I didn't think I could do justice to additional duties.
And here I am again, a two-times peer in the SCA (2nd was for service), and baroness again. And learning more about the spiritual and ritual aspects of being a druid -- hard for me to think about them in words, when I've simply let everything be blended together most of my life. Hard to separate things out, read the words others have written, then put it all together again... the same and yet different. It's a good thing, but having read so little compared to others, and knowing that on top of that I have to re-learn things I haven't needed in years, and on top of that, the new life we're working on putting together for the future....
I guess I wonder sometimes if I'm thinking too highly of myself, to think I can actually do everything that needs doing. How much strength can I ask for from those around me? Don't the deities have plenty to do already?
Of course, they've given their answer, and more than once. Sacrifices in what things I do or don't do will have to be made. Among those, oddly, will be not reading all the books I am supposed to read -- or at least not this year. I have to read at least parts of some of them, enough to understand the direction of the author's wisdom, to know whether or not I already know what he or she is talking about. Others will be reference books. The 2nd degree curriculum calls for a lot of reading (especially a lot if you have a full life and still have a tendency to fall asleep when reading...). I'll get through the majority of them eventually, but I've been informed that my path isn't to follow the more standard path. Sigh.
Other sacrifices will be who I spend time with, and how much time I spend with them. My time in the SCA is becoming more limited, and so I'm working on spreading out the responsibilities I still have, so that I can still do the most needful things. This year, for instance, I'm working on getting people to recognize who the new class scheduler is for Novice Schola.
This year has the potential to be the year of the nearly impossible...
- Druid studies: reading, meditating, practicing, doing research for and creating an Imbolc ritual (among other things)
- I'm still unpacking, sorting through things, and re-packing/giving away/recycling/tossing things. This will probably be happening off and on all year. I may have to do it more than once for some things, as right now I can't always put the surplus stuff together in once place (physically impossible).
- PT will be happening for some months yet.
- Martial skills have to be learned and/or improved.
- Larger garden this year, and more food preservation
- Work for some SCA events this year. Local events, 12th Night, probably War of the Roses, Pennsic, maybe a few others.
- Preparation for Pennsic, and in particular organization of the Runnymede Dinner that Bergental is hosting
- Visit, probably in June, from the Grand Archdruid and the Archdruid of the West
- Try to schedule a few workshops this year. At least one in bookbinding. Would also like one on using a scythe, to start off the practical skills workshops.
- Weaving
- Painting
- Singing
- Hiking
- Everything else... and none of the above necessarily in the order in which it was written.
- Oh wait, there's one more thing.... very fuzzy, don't know if it will happen, but..... there's the possibility that we could find our new place to live this year -- the permanent place. We'd likely still be living at the farm for the next year, but working on fixing up another place at the same time. If this happens, all theoretical free time will be gone.
So, with all the above to do, the doubts on whether or not I'm worthy (but not for me to decide), am I ready to be called a priestess by other people?
Sure, why not. Let's call the rose a rose.
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