Wednesday, 11 August 2010

Continued Improvements

Well, instead of everything staying in my head or just getting talked out with L, I actually wrote a bunch of stuff this morning. Have also managed to do some cleaning this summer, and a bit of work in the garden. Does this mean a return to creating art again? I hope so.

Tuesday, 6 July 2010

Keeping On

Bits of progress on health and mental well-being. It's an interesting road.... meanwhile, was thinking about the American (and perhaps other places, but I wouldn't know), fascination with 'saving the day'. Usually at the last minute, and usually too fantastical -- then again, the problems are usually fantastical as well.

I'll confess that I like shows and stories where people come up with solutions, if only temporary ones, until they can figure out the next step, if there is one. MacGyver was and is a favorite of mine. In urgent situations, you may not be able to come up with the perfect answer, but you may find a way to stay alive, stay clear, until you can figure out the next step.

What I've seen change over time, from the days of MacGyver, is that the solutions usually require lots of special technology. Now, MacGyver was a smart guy -- and a cross-crafter, too -- who sometimes had decent equipment to work with and sometimes not. He didn't always succeed, but he kept trying.

The thing is, it wasn't the technology that saved the day, but the man who came up with the ideas to do something or make something. And it wasn't just his knowledge -- although it doesn't hurt to know a lot of things! -- but his spirit and will to fight. Why did he do the things he did? To save himself, to save others, to help the community, to help nature.

A lot of folks are lost in the 'new is better' and 'technology will save us' ways of thinking. But this thinking is narrow and short-sighted, and will fail. It assumes that technology is always better. There are plenty of people who think humans can do things better than Nature. They would be wrong, of course. Nature may not always do things to their liking, but that doesn't mean it doesn't work just fine.

Disasters abound in our world, many of them caused, directly or indirectly, by humans. In some cases, we're just helping certain trends along at a much faster pace, but still, the responsibility is there. So, what will people do? Most of them, sadly, probably the wrong things. And when oil and toxins are flowing all over the world, more than they are now, that is, breaching a critical level of pseudo-tolerance.... I'll be MacGyvering away, trying to find solutions, even if they're short-term. Buying time for another day, another year, maybe for another generation. Doing my best in my little part of the world.

Hence the ongoing work of trying to become more whole, physically, mentally, emotionally. I think all the things that are going on and that are to come, have contributed to my personal crash and burn, but there is no time for that. If we would try to live and to adapt to whatever life will bring, we must do our best to become our best. Thank the Gods for my beloved, my friends, and Themselves! I might even get where I'm trying to go.

Wednesday, 2 June 2010

Limited Resources, Less Time

Not new, but maybe not that well-known:
Oil in Nigeria (Shell, in this case)
Photo essay of oil in Nigeria

Of course currently in the Gulf of Mexico, there is the main plume that is being partially siphoned off by BP, and then there are the two plumes of mixed oil, water, and toxic chemicals that BP is still denying -- you know, the chemicals that were supposed to break up and disperse the oil, that are both less effective than others on the market, and more toxic than those more effective ones.... but the companies were best buds, so hey. That's been corrected at least...

Talking with my MIL yesterday about all this, she knows what apparently the news media don't seem to know, that the oil and toxins will be off all of the East coast of the US, up and over to the UK and the rest of Europe, and back down again. Some deniers are saying that the spill isn't that bad, we aren't see lots of dead animals and fish washing up. Of course, it would be hard to see all the fry and other small life forms in all that muck, wouldn't it? And a lot won't be washing up on the Gulf coasts, but elsewhere... Irritates me no end the media being so tentative. The spill's in the Gulf, the Stream goes through it, so of course it's just a matter of time.

Already there are signs in the stores about no more shrimp coming in. Next year, likely there won't be any shrimp at all. Well, not from the Gulf, anyway. The dieoff is already underway.

My MIL hates coal too -- her dad worked for a while in the mines and also delivering coal, so she's seen it up close and personal. Some of our electricity comes from coal, and some from oil or natural gas -- unless you're off the grid and don't drive a car or motorcycle, chances are you're partly responsible for the mess our planet's in. We all are -- yes, me too.

Why is that? We didn't build the rigs, or screw up the safety regulations. We didn't let containment pools at mines collapse or get flooded and destroy homes and the environment at large. Right? But we all expect fuel at a "reasonable" price -- money-grubbing corporations aside, they're cutting corners at least in part because there's so much demand for fuel, at unreasonably low prices. These are limited resources, and should be used and priced accordingly, but instead they're treated like they're renewable, as if we could always get more.

We turn a blind eye, because we don't want to have to sacrifice anything. Heck, there are people out there leaving dead rats at climate scientists' doors and sending them death threats, because if anyone were to listen to them enough to actually DO something, that would threaten their way of life (the guy leaving the rat I know of, was seen driving off in a yellow Hummer).

And heaven forefend anyone "cut back" on their "lifestyle".

My MIL has her luxuries these days, not having to make everything from scratch (some, but not all). And she's not in good enough health to bike or walk to work, so she drives there -- at least it's only a couple of miles, and she doesn't travel long distance very often, and always with others. She has her television and loves her old movies. But I dare say she lives what she considers a comfortable life, at considerably less fuel usage than the average American.

L's and my fuel usage for travel has gone up over the past year, and I'm not thrilled with it. If the school were closer, that would be a happy thing. Currently I weigh it against the cost of lack of physical fitness, and quite frankly, kung fu makes me do more for getting and staying fit than anything else I've done since I was a kid. The healthier we are, the less we'll need to make demands on the medical institutions and use pharmaceuticals (talk about pollutants!).

Still, a day may come when we give up going to the school...

What gives the U.S. the right to use 1/3 of the world's fossil fuels? Nothing.

Want to go on vacation, travel to visit family, commute to work or class in a car, etc.? I'm not saying not to do it -- we each are responsible for ourselves and how we interact with our world. But know the cost. It's a hard and uncomfortable thing to think about, but like dealing with a suspected illness, denying it won't make it go away.

Everything has a cost -- even alternative energies do, because they need to use some fossil fuels for construction and transportation. Two new Energy Star dishwashers are getting put into the house tomorrow (one downstairs, one up) -- likely a good thing overall, but... at least the previous ones were a few decades old, so well-used. I'm also a fan of using my cup for more than one fill-up of water before washing it, for sure!

But we need to look hard at each thing we do, and think about it in context of the world, not just ourselves. And yeah, no need to be serious all the time, but play-time needs to have a lower outlay of resources, because those are getting scarcer every day.

Been dealing with stress and depression for a few years now, sometimes not so well. The whole thing gets overwhelming, and trying to figure out what I can and can't do.... end up not doing a whole lot sometimes. Thank goodness for L and for a few good friends. Hope I can get it together this year.

Slowly working on divesting of some stuff -- very slowly, as we have the annoying habit of picking up useful stuff. Still trying to organize things, but that'll be a long road too. Can't give up though. Well, we could.... but we won't.

Friday, 16 October 2009

Are You Ready?

Are you ready?

All through the long spring, there was laughter and play and delight.
On through the heat of summer, plenty and fruitful there was.
Freely were those fruits given; more than freely were they taken and spent.

Now autumn flies past; where is the bounteous harvest?
Strewn haplessly, wastefully.
Who has been saving against the winter?
A long, long winter it will be.
Hard, for the grasshopper.

Neither ant nor grasshopper, some of us have striven to preserve the bounty, if not as much as we should have, still we are trying. Learning to be more like the ant, yes. Yet the grasshopper in me still dances in the sunlight, even though now it is while weeding and gathering at the same time.

Will it be enough?

Lavendar, roses, and many others, oft times will bloom twice in a year. Beauty and bounty, hope for the future, may appear unannounced, in unlikely places. Watch for them.

For here we stand at the edge of Winter, and They have spoken.

It is time to blossom.

Are you ready?

Sunday, 30 August 2009

Dream

Kind of scattershot dream, I don't think I'm actually in it, more like a witness.

Starts off in some building, going through something like a mall -- lit but with dark facings to the store fronts and ceiling. Somewhere inside a young woman is working on a project with photos from an earlier era, although apparently using some new processes of some sort. I think some of the photos were of people who had acted parts of people from the past (historical movies).

Another young lady -- teenager really, had a spray bottle of some stuff that 'makes you feel good'. Somehow the spray bottle stuff and the photo project interacted and a male actor dressed as a soldier shows up, who was in one of the photos. I'm not quite sure of him -- I recognized him as an actor, but it also seemed like he'd seen real action, which of course is quite possible. He's apparently pretty high and some of the people in the room told him he couldn't do that and needed to change, to which he replied that while it might be bad for his body, he could do whatever he wanted to it, it was his decision to make. He also said if they'd seen what he had, they might do drugs too.

Cut to girl with spray bottle outside, occasionally spritzing the air to make people 'happy'. Sunny day, just walking along. Come to a big open plaza with flat areas connected by steps the length of the squares. Um, kind of like you see in pictures/films of some place in Europe, but I don't know where specifically. Lots of people everywhere, doing whatever one does in a big plaza, going places, chatting, sitting on the steps, etc.

Then the soldiers come. Soldiers running, people running. Someone goes to pick up his/her brown paper bag of something and a soldier is there preventing them. Almost fearful, like there might be something dangerous in there. I had originally thought in the dream that the soldier was greedy for the contents, and that might be true, but fear was also there. The person backed off from taking the bag, and then the soldier decided the person could take it, essentially based on the response of the person to him. More running, yelling, there is fighting somewhere.

Get into a building. Maybe a parking garage? On at least the second storey up. Concrete floor I think. Slatted window openings in the wall in front and to the right of me where I'm sitting on the floor. The openings are a few feet across and go from floor to ceiling. There are other people over there, scattered about -- civilians/non-coms. To my left is S, sitting on some sort of chair -- folding chair? Not sure but it's minimalist. She's the age she is now, but more fit and wearing green military fatigues, including that hat I remember from our college days. Maybe if she'd looked as young as she was in the service I might have not recognized her, so my dream gave me as she is? Don't know. The reason I wonder about that is because standing up a bit past her is another soldier in green military uniform, a big black man with a deep voice. I immediately identify him as Massey. There's an alcove to the left of the wall with the openings, where some other soldiers are talking.

S tells the non-coms to lie down because they're too visible and could be targets. Some of them are idiots and lie down but with their feet next to or over the window opening edges, and I tell them to scoot up away from the windows. Meanwhile, Massey's quietly making fun of whoever their commander is -- some wet-behind-the-ears officer who apparently was having trouble adjusting to the reality of their situation -- he's just quietly saying "but, but, but, but..." There's some other chatter but I don't remember it now. I think we're essentially trying to wait out the fighting, hoping it moves on, so the civilians can be gotten out of there safely.

That's it.

Friday, 17 July 2009

Miscellaneous

Allergies: may be less allergic to hay/dust, but not to some other stuff. Mold, probably. Plenty of spores to go around this summer. Working on that.

***
Wrote on my LJ about the physical fitness stuff. Also getting a few projects done, continuing to try to organize/sort.


***
Ha
ve a new thing I'm doing as part of morning ritual activities. Am building the 'mists of Avalon' as it were, around the surrounding area. Not resisting with a solid wall so much as diverting unwelcome individuals, turning them aside. Those who would harm the Earth, may they and their projects dwindle away, may nothing come of them.

***
Had a flood dream. That was interesting... don't remember much of it now -- what preceded the flooding -- but there were odd things like a report that Shia LeBouef (what?) had said that he didn't believe that the flooding would be severe. Later he was found and rescued from a tree.... I suppose that could be symbolic of popular thought or something. Then I wondered what things looked like from being in a tree, so I was in a tree looking down at everything. Buildings half-submerged, things floating in the water, and the knowledge that more water was coming.

Although what I actually thought was weird wasn't the flood, which I'd been expecting, but the 'tree' I was sitting/standing in. I was in a somewhat open branchy part -- the thought came to me that it was almost like a seat or throne, although there wasn't anything obvious like a seat cushion of course. The leaves were Holly leaves. That was the part that got my attention.

American Holly tree grows 40 - 50 feet high. I had a couple of holly in Holyoke -- the bush type that are commonly sold at garden centers. And as long as you maintain them, they make a nice bush -- they'll get big if you let them, though.

Looking around.... according to the Celtic
Tree Calendar, Holly represents the 8th month, or July 8th - Aug 4th. Interesting since we're currently in the middle of that time right now. This is also the time of year of the rule of the Holly King, until Winter Solstice.

All sorts of useful tidbits (the plant itself, magical properties, cultural uses and meanings, and more) on Holly here: Holly at Controverscial.com

I have a wand I cut (yes, I didn't do the Scottish thing of somehow removing it from the Holly bush without using a knife). L has one somewhere as well. We'd first 'used' them as props for a Halloween party, but they of course gained some power, as seems to be Holly's nature, and so we kept them. They still have the bark on, although I wonder if I should remove the bark somehow, to expose bare wood. Hm...

One of Holly's properties is protection, and I definitely felt safe in the tree, at least for the time I was going to be observing the area.



Sunday, 14 June 2009

Communication

An interesting thing this week... now, I'm accustomed to praying regularly, be it going about my day or the more formal times of being at the altar or at a ritual. But. Hm, wonder if I can write this in a way that makes things clear.

I tend to, even when going about my business, to pause for a moment to gather myself together before saying anything. Then the other day I was helping out with the haying and have a huge sneezing fit. I'd taken my nettles that morning -- something I've been trying to make a regular habit of -- but hay and saw dust are a bit much. I'd just been sent up from the mow to go help in the wagon when I had the sneezing fit. Leaning against one of the barn timbers, I just came out with "Goddess, help me with these allergies!" And She did. I could feel a change from my head down my upper back, an (energy?) movement of some sort. And then I was pretty much good to go for the rest of the job.

The next morning I sneezed a few times and decided that rather than hit the nettles or OTC stuff right away, I would ask for help again, and again received it. My thought is that, perhaps, I might be becoming less allergic. Considering we had a few pumpkins go moldy this week, that's really saying something... I did have a bit of nettles later in the day as a little extra help, but for the most part things have improved. I am cautiously optimistic on the health front. And more than happy about having moved another step further along the path.

Who knew that haying could be a spiritual experience?