Well, didn't get the cool animals, boat, or deities in ancient dress, but more or less got the same message as Cyfnos Gwynt got some time ago. Hence my latest post of online articles only to a few folks earlier today.
Instead of forest, fields, and a river, I got a hospital or some sort of large building, and a train. And some other buildings in the beginning of the dream, I think... I remember looking at them and being told that I could continue to try to warn the people in the buildings, sending information to them to help them be more aware, and that was a choice I could make. But the strong recommendation was that I should be focusing on getting what I could from that society (materials-wise) only in order to apply it toward our future lives, for a smaller group of people. Basically, I had to choose joining the populace-at-large in their lives, or choose to work closer to home, completing the work that needs doing here. Since the way things are going currently in the work simply isn't working to create a sustainable and responsible way of life, I don't consider that a real choice.
There was a woman in a white coat, but even though she had a lot of medical experience and knowledge, and I was apparently supposed to help her to remember to take her meds. She has a lot of work to do, and needs all the help she can get in making sure her work gets done.
We got on the train and we'd been talking about something and I looked down for a moment, I think to get something out of a bag(?) or to look something up. When I looked up another woman showed up who chastised me for missing giving a pill to the doctor-woman, and that this was really bad thing. I said that I hadn't forgotten all of them, and had made sure she got the one just before the one we missed, and we agreed that the one missed one wasn't a complete disaster. But, I had to pay more attention and make sure she got the next one, which she was supposed to get in 6 hours.
Time amounts can be relative, considering I missed one of the pill times simply by looking down for a moment. We'd talked about the world and how it was all going, and the need to accomplish a lot of our projects. I didn't get much of an idea that there was anything new I need to be doing, aside from everything I'm already doing or starting to do. So I guess I need to focus more on getting more things done, and less on posting stuff or talking to people about all the events that are really happening in plain sight, if one is paying any attention at all.
Meanwhile, I still have the obligations of typing for my mom's book and of course the great new project with JMG of the Ogham deck to go with his book. The bits of income from those (one current and one future), plus the other odds and ends of working locally, are part of being able to bring some of the projects into fruition. Nevertheless, I have to pick up the pace, work harder on getting in shape, learning new things, clearing out stuff, etc.
The project with JMG looks like it may be contribute in other ways, as I have to really think things through for each card, learning more about trees, geometry, etc. An excellent project indeed!
Meantime, more work to do!
Friday, 11 April 2008
Additional Thought on Last Post
Have a magical connection while standing in hot tub, is sort of a real life reflection of my grove in some ways (except warmer -- don't want to cook the creatures that come by to visit the grove).
Haven't written about my personal astral grove here, but there's a pool that takes up the center of the grove, and in fact one way to enter the grove is from under the water. The gateways are on the land that surrounds the pool, but when I use an altar or do any work there, it is in or just over the center of the pool, depending on the type of work.
Haven't written about my personal astral grove here, but there's a pool that takes up the center of the grove, and in fact one way to enter the grove is from under the water. The gateways are on the land that surrounds the pool, but when I use an altar or do any work there, it is in or just over the center of the pool, depending on the type of work.
Friday, 4 April 2008
Birthday
I wrote about the various things I got to do on my birthday on my LJ, but this is in particular about going to East Heaven Hot Tubs. L and I favor their older, more traditional tubs, which are deep dark wood tubs, not the shallow plastic resin ones. Each room is a little different too. This one has a wood deck even with about half of the tub's rim. Part of it is against one of the shower walls, and past that bit of wall you can see the farther shower wall, which has a curve of blue tile on it, a sort of moon shape going onto the third wall of the shower area. The remainder of the tub edge is open to the walking/changing area and the steps leading up to the deck. There is a hanging plant in the space over the shower wall that's against the tub. We had an album by Enigma playing.
I love soaking in a hot tub, definitely a treat and one I don't get too often. And since we'd been going up on the hillsides clearing pipeline, it was more appreciated than usual by both of us.
Sans swimsuits of course, especially since it's just the two of us. I have a bad habit of leaving my swimsuit behind during changing to go home, so it's just as well, really.
Part way through we dispensed with the jets. They're nice for achey muscles, but they're also loud, and they change the dynamics of movement and heat of the water. L was taking a break from the heat, and I was enjoying the music, heat, water, misty air, the feel of moving in a semi-supported environment. Hot tubs of this sort are one of the most pleasant combinations of all the elements.
Something I don't usually do when other people are around is dance to the feel of the energy around me. It has to be a pretty special circumstance, like the one that I took an earlier name from of Moondancer. But this night was a good night for it, so I just slowly got into the feel of my surroundings, and then moved out, expanding, touching, reaching out... and then bringing it back in again. It seemed like a most appropriate time to heal, and more than just aching muscles. A time to celebrate movement and life, to give thanks and to accept strength and purpose.
I've never had much need for tools or prepared rituals, but sometimes they're useful. And certainly when sitting inside a cauldron, I'm not going to turn it down! Dancing in water with a goddess who revels in creation is a powerful thing. I did wonder briefly who it might be, in that most folks like to name the beings they meet, but a name is not terribly relevant to me. More important at the time was to embrace her presence and the gift of sharing space and time together, in such an intense way; something I would gladly do again. And not even knowing her name, still I pledged myself to her service, for I knew her to be a great power of the Earth.
When Cyfnos Gwynt mentioned in another post that she thought Ceridwen and I would be doing work together, that name fit for me. In fact, since some pagans relate Ceridwen to the full moon, it may be that I was dancing with her 25 years ago. That feels right to me as well.
Wales and parts of Britain have called to me since before I knew its name. As a child I traveled there in my dreams. Perhaps it was Her calling, and a few others, all the time. I left for a little while and traveled afar, life having its way with me, but now is the time for journeying home.
I love soaking in a hot tub, definitely a treat and one I don't get too often. And since we'd been going up on the hillsides clearing pipeline, it was more appreciated than usual by both of us.
Sans swimsuits of course, especially since it's just the two of us. I have a bad habit of leaving my swimsuit behind during changing to go home, so it's just as well, really.
Part way through we dispensed with the jets. They're nice for achey muscles, but they're also loud, and they change the dynamics of movement and heat of the water. L was taking a break from the heat, and I was enjoying the music, heat, water, misty air, the feel of moving in a semi-supported environment. Hot tubs of this sort are one of the most pleasant combinations of all the elements.
Something I don't usually do when other people are around is dance to the feel of the energy around me. It has to be a pretty special circumstance, like the one that I took an earlier name from of Moondancer. But this night was a good night for it, so I just slowly got into the feel of my surroundings, and then moved out, expanding, touching, reaching out... and then bringing it back in again. It seemed like a most appropriate time to heal, and more than just aching muscles. A time to celebrate movement and life, to give thanks and to accept strength and purpose.
I've never had much need for tools or prepared rituals, but sometimes they're useful. And certainly when sitting inside a cauldron, I'm not going to turn it down! Dancing in water with a goddess who revels in creation is a powerful thing. I did wonder briefly who it might be, in that most folks like to name the beings they meet, but a name is not terribly relevant to me. More important at the time was to embrace her presence and the gift of sharing space and time together, in such an intense way; something I would gladly do again. And not even knowing her name, still I pledged myself to her service, for I knew her to be a great power of the Earth.
When Cyfnos Gwynt mentioned in another post that she thought Ceridwen and I would be doing work together, that name fit for me. In fact, since some pagans relate Ceridwen to the full moon, it may be that I was dancing with her 25 years ago. That feels right to me as well.
Wales and parts of Britain have called to me since before I knew its name. As a child I traveled there in my dreams. Perhaps it was Her calling, and a few others, all the time. I left for a little while and traveled afar, life having its way with me, but now is the time for journeying home.
Thursday, 3 April 2008
Cer(r)idwen
There isn't a lot known about the Welsh goddess Ceridwen, the bits of knowledge being scattered here and there. There is some thought that originally she was a corn goddess (found that tidbit over at About.com). She is often thought of as the Crone. Some take this to mean ugly, but older women, as I know from experience, can still be quite lovely ;) But regardless of outer appearance, the important part is that she is a mature person with years of experience and knowledge. She is supposed to have the gift of prophecy (but apparently only of other people's futures, not her own), and is the keeper of a cauldron of wisdom and inspiration.
The About.com article on her as the keeper of the cauldron says "Cerridwen is often granted the status of Crone, which in turn equates her with the darker aspect of the Triple Goddess.
***
From research on the name, in relation to use for naming of humans outside of myths, "Ceridwen was the goddess of poetic inspiration and the mother of Taliesin, the legendary bard. Her name may derive from ceiridd, a form of cerdd "song, poetry" and gwen "white" ".
From Wikipedia entry on Ceridwen, "From the Welsh cerydd, "chiding love", and gwen, "white, blessed". The theonym appears to be derived from Romano-British *Caritavena, Proto-Celtic *Karjitā-wenā a feminine compound meaning "chastisement-love" or "chiding love" "
I could sort of understand the second meaning if it might be referring to her being chastised for trying to give her son Mofran/Affagdu wisdom, rather than he helping with attaining it himself or her stirring the cauldron herself (true wisdom being only gained through one's own efforts, not through someone else's). But the first meaning makes more sense to me, because she was supposed to be a great sorceress/witch, and even when she was angry at gwion for inadvertently taking the gift of wisdom, she couldn't destroy what was not only beautiful, but full of wisdom as well. The tale of Taliesin only says that it was because he was so beautiful, but if she valued wisdom, knowledge, and creativity, I can't see her destroying that knowledge. Eating Gwion as the grain wasn't destruction really, because the gift was held within her until it was time for it to come forth once again.
***
The number of children Ceridwen had is also a question. Many stories name two, but one site mentioned one daughter, Creirwy, and two sons, Morfran (with no positive attributes) and Mofran (ugly but a great warrior). Then, if you check out Ceridwen's husband, Tegid Foel at Wikipedia, there are mentions of other children. Specifically, "Apart from Creirwy and Morfran the Welsh genealogies also name other children of Tegid. The Vitae Sanctorum Britanniae et Genealogiae gives the following lineage: "Afan Buellt son of Cedig son of Ceredig son of Cunedda Wledig by Degfed ["Tenth"] daughter of Tegid Foel"; Rawlins MS B gives another genealogy naming another daughter, Dwywai". Possibly Ceridwen and Tegid had only two children at the time of the incident with the cauldron and young Gwion.
***
Next, there is Ceridwen's cauldron. One site calls it Amen, but they have a number of typos at their site, so I expect they meant Annun/Annwn/Annwfn. Also, this wouldn't be the name of the cauldron, but of the place the cauldron came from (the otherworld). More than one cauldron is mentioned in stories/poems about the otherworld.
What's interesting to me is that Ceridwen's cauldron has to do with poetry, song, knowledge, wisdom. Bran's cauldron can bring people back to life. But when I was first getting involved in the Wiccan tradition years ago, I have this odd recollection that the two had been combined... now, Ceridwen being a powerful and knowledgeable woman, could certainly have been a healer as well as a poet. Ooo, found a reference to the cauldron being both for magic/inspiration and re-birth at the above-mentioned About.com article on C and her cauldron...
I have to wonder at including resurrection... of course Taliesin was re-born, so I suppose that might be where the idea came from -- although that's really reincarnation.
***
If Morfran had received the three drops instead of Taliesin, he would have been accepted in polite society, probably have gotten married, and no doubt dispensed valuable knowledge to all who came to his court. I don't know if he would have traveled, because we don't hear anything about his character, nor is he involved in anyway with the work of creating the three drops. Instead, Gwion, who did the stirring for a year, acquires them, these precious drops that were created out of the work and knowledge of Ceridwen, in a special cauldron, heated by a fire fed by a blind servant. Then there is the chase (test/challenges of the knowledge?), and then being caught and re-born as a new person. Taliesin then is sent out into the world, advises much, travels more, and records important historical events.
So then, if one has Cerridwen as a patron, the tasks one has might include learning many kinds of knowledge, but also the promoting of learning to others. And there are all the facets/types of learning... magic, healing, divination, poetry, the inspiration that leads to creativity of all sorts.
As to why I'm writing about Ceridwen in particular, something interesting happened on my birthday, which I've been meaning to write about, and will, soon. But at some point after my birthday, Cyfnos Gwynt made a comment somewhere that she thought Ceridwen and I would be getting more involved somehow this year, and it struck me that this was probably a good naming for what happened.
The About.com article on her as the keeper of the cauldron says "Cerridwen is often granted the status of Crone, which in turn equates her with the darker aspect of the Triple Goddess.
As a goddess of the Underworld, Cerridwen is often symbolized by a white sow, which represents both her fecundity and fertility and her strength as a mother. She is both the Mother and the Crone; many modern Pagans honor Cerridwen for her close association to the full moon."
This puts her in the position of two out of three aspects of the Goddess. Interesting... One thing I don't like about people using the word "dark" is that some folks tends to think this means "bad" or "evil". Of course, some people think knowledge is bad -- anything they don't approve of, at any rate! Knowledge is knowledge; how one uses it is where the opinion of good or bad belongs.
***
From research on the name, in relation to use for naming of humans outside of myths, "Ceridwen was the goddess of poetic inspiration and the mother of Taliesin, the legendary bard. Her name may derive from ceiridd, a form of cerdd "song, poetry" and gwen "white" ".
From Wikipedia entry on Ceridwen, "From the Welsh cerydd, "chiding love", and gwen, "white, blessed". The theonym appears to be derived from Romano-British *Caritavena, Proto-Celtic *Karjitā-wenā a feminine compound meaning "chastisement-love" or "chiding love" "
I could sort of understand the second meaning if it might be referring to her being chastised for trying to give her son Mofran/Affagdu wisdom, rather than he helping with attaining it himself or her stirring the cauldron herself (true wisdom being only gained through one's own efforts, not through someone else's). But the first meaning makes more sense to me, because she was supposed to be a great sorceress/witch, and even when she was angry at gwion for inadvertently taking the gift of wisdom, she couldn't destroy what was not only beautiful, but full of wisdom as well. The tale of Taliesin only says that it was because he was so beautiful, but if she valued wisdom, knowledge, and creativity, I can't see her destroying that knowledge. Eating Gwion as the grain wasn't destruction really, because the gift was held within her until it was time for it to come forth once again.
***
The number of children Ceridwen had is also a question. Many stories name two, but one site mentioned one daughter, Creirwy, and two sons, Morfran (with no positive attributes) and Mofran (ugly but a great warrior). Then, if you check out Ceridwen's husband, Tegid Foel at Wikipedia, there are mentions of other children. Specifically, "Apart from Creirwy and Morfran the Welsh genealogies also name other children of Tegid. The Vitae Sanctorum Britanniae et Genealogiae gives the following lineage: "Afan Buellt son of Cedig son of Ceredig son of Cunedda Wledig by Degfed ["Tenth"] daughter of Tegid Foel"; Rawlins MS B gives another genealogy naming another daughter, Dwywai". Possibly Ceridwen and Tegid had only two children at the time of the incident with the cauldron and young Gwion.
***
Next, there is Ceridwen's cauldron. One site calls it Amen, but they have a number of typos at their site, so I expect they meant Annun/Annwn/Annwfn. Also, this wouldn't be the name of the cauldron, but of the place the cauldron came from (the otherworld). More than one cauldron is mentioned in stories/poems about the otherworld.
What's interesting to me is that Ceridwen's cauldron has to do with poetry, song, knowledge, wisdom. Bran's cauldron can bring people back to life. But when I was first getting involved in the Wiccan tradition years ago, I have this odd recollection that the two had been combined... now, Ceridwen being a powerful and knowledgeable woman, could certainly have been a healer as well as a poet. Ooo, found a reference to the cauldron being both for magic/inspiration and re-birth at the above-mentioned About.com article on C and her cauldron...
I have to wonder at including resurrection... of course Taliesin was re-born, so I suppose that might be where the idea came from -- although that's really reincarnation.
***
If Morfran had received the three drops instead of Taliesin, he would have been accepted in polite society, probably have gotten married, and no doubt dispensed valuable knowledge to all who came to his court. I don't know if he would have traveled, because we don't hear anything about his character, nor is he involved in anyway with the work of creating the three drops. Instead, Gwion, who did the stirring for a year, acquires them, these precious drops that were created out of the work and knowledge of Ceridwen, in a special cauldron, heated by a fire fed by a blind servant. Then there is the chase (test/challenges of the knowledge?), and then being caught and re-born as a new person. Taliesin then is sent out into the world, advises much, travels more, and records important historical events.
So then, if one has Cerridwen as a patron, the tasks one has might include learning many kinds of knowledge, but also the promoting of learning to others. And there are all the facets/types of learning... magic, healing, divination, poetry, the inspiration that leads to creativity of all sorts.
As to why I'm writing about Ceridwen in particular, something interesting happened on my birthday, which I've been meaning to write about, and will, soon. But at some point after my birthday, Cyfnos Gwynt made a comment somewhere that she thought Ceridwen and I would be getting more involved somehow this year, and it struck me that this was probably a good naming for what happened.
Thursday, 21 February 2008
Readings, Divination
The poem I posted last week (post previous to this one) came out of a series of experiences while looking for some stuff for Novice Schola (which I never found, but it all worked out). I was getting frustrated because I knew I'd seen what I was looking for but couldn't find it. These days that tends to mean that I should be doing something else, or finding a different way to achieve my goal.
Going down to the sugarhouse I passed Old Faithful, one of the largest sugar maples on the farm. Being polite, I gave it greetings, and also some energy as it was feeling a little cranky with the weather. There was a very small branch on the driveway, with a single 'Y' branching at the end of it. I left it there at the time because after all, there are a lot of branches on the ground on the farm.
Leaving the sugarhouse, I was quite aggravated finally, this being my last place to look for things, but hearing the river I decided it was a good time to just stop and relax and meditate. It was peaceful at first -- easy enough as I adore this little river. But as I expanded my awareness outward, some truths were spoken to me, which I thought about and accepted, more deeply than perhaps I had before. Truths about the state of our world, though not everyone would agree, of course. After a time, I proceeded back up past Old Faithful, again giving greetings to this wonderful old tree, and this time when I came to the small branch, I felt that I should indeed pick it up. And it is from the feelings and thoughts that I received as I held it, that the poem was written.
***
Did a "what's up" divination yesterday, sort of a heads-up for February. Then, upon further thought while moving stuff from the sugarhouse to the barn (isn't walking meditation great?), considering what happened last week and the divination/talk with Duskwind before that, I thought I'd try something different.
Usually, I think about particular projects or plans that L and I considering and ask questions that relate to them, including things like "would next month be a good time to consider x?" And I do the "what's up" divinations as well, but usually only for the next month or so.
So, today I did some more work moving things, lighter stuff than yesterday because of various complaints :D At one point the grove on the hill called to me, and I answered that I really couldn't walk up there, between the cold and the hard crust. Maybe with Wind Deer's help, but not on my own. But I promised I would do the divinations today, and include the grove astrally.
In fact I included my own astral grove, the grove on the hill, the spirit of the spring up in South Pasture, the land around us, Andraste, Brigid, Cernunnos, Taliesin, the spirits of the four elements/directions, the great bear.... seemed like quite the crowd, in fact. I also lit my Brigid candle that I'd gotten at BTW in November, as I thought that would help with my focus in the divinations.
Since I was going to do several readings, I used the I Ching coins. I don't have an Ogham deck yet, and this is a quick enough method that I figured I'd have enough stamina for it. I did a "What's Up?" divination for each month, from March - January (Feb. was already done). I haven't done this many at one time before, so it was a little tiring. A few times I paused to re-center.
It was an interesting exercise. I'll continue to do other divinations through the year of course, but it gave a sort of overview which will be helpful.
Preparation, study, meditation, learning new skills, periods of quiet and periods of connecting with some folks. June through August look kind of interesting, with a higher point of activity in September. October is another inward month in some ways (inward doesn't mean quiet). November looks to be busy.
December also looks to be busy, in part adapting to a great change in circumstances (11 Pervading. Change line Six Above: "The walls fall down. The prosperous city will fall. But do not call out the legions. This has fate and higher authority behind it. Fighting it will only bring shame and confusion. Your destiny is in disarray. You will need to concentrate anew.") Change isn't always a bad thing, if you know what direction to go in -- the relating figure for this one is 26: Great Accumulating.
Some repeating themes are letting go of the past, letting go of the old. Seeking new ways, true ways. Being small, subtle, adaptive, determined but not close-minded. Should be interesting.
Going down to the sugarhouse I passed Old Faithful, one of the largest sugar maples on the farm. Being polite, I gave it greetings, and also some energy as it was feeling a little cranky with the weather. There was a very small branch on the driveway, with a single 'Y' branching at the end of it. I left it there at the time because after all, there are a lot of branches on the ground on the farm.
Leaving the sugarhouse, I was quite aggravated finally, this being my last place to look for things, but hearing the river I decided it was a good time to just stop and relax and meditate. It was peaceful at first -- easy enough as I adore this little river. But as I expanded my awareness outward, some truths were spoken to me, which I thought about and accepted, more deeply than perhaps I had before. Truths about the state of our world, though not everyone would agree, of course. After a time, I proceeded back up past Old Faithful, again giving greetings to this wonderful old tree, and this time when I came to the small branch, I felt that I should indeed pick it up. And it is from the feelings and thoughts that I received as I held it, that the poem was written.
***
Did a "what's up" divination yesterday, sort of a heads-up for February. Then, upon further thought while moving stuff from the sugarhouse to the barn (isn't walking meditation great?), considering what happened last week and the divination/talk with Duskwind before that, I thought I'd try something different.
Usually, I think about particular projects or plans that L and I considering and ask questions that relate to them, including things like "would next month be a good time to consider x?" And I do the "what's up" divinations as well, but usually only for the next month or so.
So, today I did some more work moving things, lighter stuff than yesterday because of various complaints :D At one point the grove on the hill called to me, and I answered that I really couldn't walk up there, between the cold and the hard crust. Maybe with Wind Deer's help, but not on my own. But I promised I would do the divinations today, and include the grove astrally.
In fact I included my own astral grove, the grove on the hill, the spirit of the spring up in South Pasture, the land around us, Andraste, Brigid, Cernunnos, Taliesin, the spirits of the four elements/directions, the great bear.... seemed like quite the crowd, in fact. I also lit my Brigid candle that I'd gotten at BTW in November, as I thought that would help with my focus in the divinations.
Since I was going to do several readings, I used the I Ching coins. I don't have an Ogham deck yet, and this is a quick enough method that I figured I'd have enough stamina for it. I did a "What's Up?" divination for each month, from March - January (Feb. was already done). I haven't done this many at one time before, so it was a little tiring. A few times I paused to re-center.
It was an interesting exercise. I'll continue to do other divinations through the year of course, but it gave a sort of overview which will be helpful.
Preparation, study, meditation, learning new skills, periods of quiet and periods of connecting with some folks. June through August look kind of interesting, with a higher point of activity in September. October is another inward month in some ways (inward doesn't mean quiet). November looks to be busy.
December also looks to be busy, in part adapting to a great change in circumstances (11 Pervading. Change line Six Above: "The walls fall down. The prosperous city will fall. But do not call out the legions. This has fate and higher authority behind it. Fighting it will only bring shame and confusion. Your destiny is in disarray. You will need to concentrate anew.") Change isn't always a bad thing, if you know what direction to go in -- the relating figure for this one is 26: Great Accumulating.
Some repeating themes are letting go of the past, letting go of the old. Seeking new ways, true ways. Being small, subtle, adaptive, determined but not close-minded. Should be interesting.
Friday, 15 February 2008
What the river and the lichened branch told me
Great are the hurts,
Many the wanton wasters.
Unchecked, utter ruin.
From whence comes salvation?
A great storm comes,
Vast in breadth, deeply reaching.
Land and sea feel the change.
The mother defends her own.
Many the wanton wasters.
Unchecked, utter ruin.
From whence comes salvation?
A great storm comes,
Vast in breadth, deeply reaching.
Land and sea feel the change.
The mother defends her own.
Friday, 4 January 2008
By any other name...
Carw Gwynt and I are currently studying for the 2nd degree in AODA. One of the things to consider is becoming official/legal priests. We can do that, assuming completing the the curriculum requirements and approval -- get a letter from the Grand Archdruid, send in a copy of the certificate, pay the fees, etc.
It's definitely food for thought. Over the years I've certainly fulfilled many of the duties and responsibilities, from the mundane to the sublime. Setting things up, getting supplies, working in the circle and now grove, teaching, advising (usually life stuff, but some spiritual too), etc. It's always an honor and a privilege to be able to do so. And yet....
And yet, I've never really thought of myself as a 'religious person', or cleric if you will. Cyfnos Gwynt offers blessings freely, whether in person or at the end of a blog post or email post, and it just seems so natural coming from her. The closest I come is signing something "take care" or "be well" -- although I am more often offering to add my prayers and energy to speeding someone's recovery, if they wish it, these days. Still.
But I feel that people like my former Episcopal ministers and Cyfnos Gwynt live a more spiritual life -- the kind of life I picture for a priest. My life, through choice (promises to keep), is largely in and of the world at this time. This may or may not change after this coming summer -- Carw Gwynt seems to think we might still be able to remain as baron and baroness of the local SCA group, even if we stop going to Pennsic. We need more local activities anyway, but I'd like to combine them with things I want to do in my regular life, as much as possible (like workshops on things that can be useful in everyday life, not just in the SCA). Our Grandarchdruid works as a writer, true, but his books pertain to either druidry or to the state of the world and our place in it -- also druidical. And the other Archdruid (of the West) I know, Oakmouse, does research for a church (hope I got that right).
Then on LJ this week, Rising_Moon related how she finally told her mother that she's in seminary to become a priestess, in the British Wiccan Tradition. She works full-time at a regular job, but is comfortable with being able to do both, and this has helped my perspective.
It's funny, but I guess despite my love of nature and the deep spiritual connections I feel to it, I haven't really thought of myself as being extraordinary enough to be a cleric. It doesn't make sense, given I've done most everything that a priest might do (well, no weddings of course). A priestess in all but name.
In some ways it's a little like practicing martial arts but not actually being a warrior. Cfynos Gwynt is that, no doubt. And past lives or no, I've not had to prove myself in that respect in this life -- and hope to never have to. Although this week I've been randomly visualizing using a sling, so I guess I better make one this spring.... Anyway, there is a difference between theory and practice, and between practice and the actual event. And apparently, for me anyway, there is a difference between being something and giving that something a name.
I very rarely name things; if you know a thing's nature, the name pales in comparison. Names are useful for referring to a thing, usually when communicating with another person. And maybe that's where the rub is for me.... it's one thing for me to know that I do priestly things, and another for other people to refer to me as a priestess. In the days of the old coven, we had a high priest and a high priestess and the rest of us were elders. I also had the title Monitor, and also helped with setup, education, counseling, etc. (not the only one, but I did a lot of it, esp. education). Then I went solo, and being solo it didn't really seem right to refer to myself as a priestess.
So, I guess it's time to make that decision, whether or not it's all right to be called a priestess. I had the same issues with being made a Laurel (SCA peerage recognition for Arts & Sciences). In fact I made a conscious decision for several years to avoid recognition, because I had other duties (my first time as baroness, and then helping to keep the group together after stepping down), and I didn't think I could do justice to additional duties.
And here I am again, a two-times peer in the SCA (2nd was for service), and baroness again. And learning more about the spiritual and ritual aspects of being a druid -- hard for me to think about them in words, when I've simply let everything be blended together most of my life. Hard to separate things out, read the words others have written, then put it all together again... the same and yet different. It's a good thing, but having read so little compared to others, and knowing that on top of that I have to re-learn things I haven't needed in years, and on top of that, the new life we're working on putting together for the future....
I guess I wonder sometimes if I'm thinking too highly of myself, to think I can actually do everything that needs doing. How much strength can I ask for from those around me? Don't the deities have plenty to do already?
Of course, they've given their answer, and more than once. Sacrifices in what things I do or don't do will have to be made. Among those, oddly, will be not reading all the books I am supposed to read -- or at least not this year. I have to read at least parts of some of them, enough to understand the direction of the author's wisdom, to know whether or not I already know what he or she is talking about. Others will be reference books. The 2nd degree curriculum calls for a lot of reading (especially a lot if you have a full life and still have a tendency to fall asleep when reading...). I'll get through the majority of them eventually, but I've been informed that my path isn't to follow the more standard path. Sigh.
Other sacrifices will be who I spend time with, and how much time I spend with them. My time in the SCA is becoming more limited, and so I'm working on spreading out the responsibilities I still have, so that I can still do the most needful things. This year, for instance, I'm working on getting people to recognize who the new class scheduler is for Novice Schola.
This year has the potential to be the year of the nearly impossible...
- Druid studies: reading, meditating, practicing, doing research for and creating an Imbolc ritual (among other things)
- I'm still unpacking, sorting through things, and re-packing/giving away/recycling/tossing things. This will probably be happening off and on all year. I may have to do it more than once for some things, as right now I can't always put the surplus stuff together in once place (physically impossible).
- PT will be happening for some months yet.
- Martial skills have to be learned and/or improved.
- Larger garden this year, and more food preservation
- Work for some SCA events this year. Local events, 12th Night, probably War of the Roses, Pennsic, maybe a few others.
- Preparation for Pennsic, and in particular organization of the Runnymede Dinner that Bergental is hosting
- Visit, probably in June, from the Grand Archdruid and the Archdruid of the West
- Try to schedule a few workshops this year. At least one in bookbinding. Would also like one on using a scythe, to start off the practical skills workshops.
- Weaving
- Painting
- Singing
- Hiking
- Everything else... and none of the above necessarily in the order in which it was written.
- Oh wait, there's one more thing.... very fuzzy, don't know if it will happen, but..... there's the possibility that we could find our new place to live this year -- the permanent place. We'd likely still be living at the farm for the next year, but working on fixing up another place at the same time. If this happens, all theoretical free time will be gone.
So, with all the above to do, the doubts on whether or not I'm worthy (but not for me to decide), am I ready to be called a priestess by other people?
Sure, why not. Let's call the rose a rose.
It's definitely food for thought. Over the years I've certainly fulfilled many of the duties and responsibilities, from the mundane to the sublime. Setting things up, getting supplies, working in the circle and now grove, teaching, advising (usually life stuff, but some spiritual too), etc. It's always an honor and a privilege to be able to do so. And yet....
And yet, I've never really thought of myself as a 'religious person', or cleric if you will. Cyfnos Gwynt offers blessings freely, whether in person or at the end of a blog post or email post, and it just seems so natural coming from her. The closest I come is signing something "take care" or "be well" -- although I am more often offering to add my prayers and energy to speeding someone's recovery, if they wish it, these days. Still.
But I feel that people like my former Episcopal ministers and Cyfnos Gwynt live a more spiritual life -- the kind of life I picture for a priest. My life, through choice (promises to keep), is largely in and of the world at this time. This may or may not change after this coming summer -- Carw Gwynt seems to think we might still be able to remain as baron and baroness of the local SCA group, even if we stop going to Pennsic. We need more local activities anyway, but I'd like to combine them with things I want to do in my regular life, as much as possible (like workshops on things that can be useful in everyday life, not just in the SCA). Our Grandarchdruid works as a writer, true, but his books pertain to either druidry or to the state of the world and our place in it -- also druidical. And the other Archdruid (of the West) I know, Oakmouse, does research for a church (hope I got that right).
Then on LJ this week, Rising_Moon related how she finally told her mother that she's in seminary to become a priestess, in the British Wiccan Tradition. She works full-time at a regular job, but is comfortable with being able to do both, and this has helped my perspective.
It's funny, but I guess despite my love of nature and the deep spiritual connections I feel to it, I haven't really thought of myself as being extraordinary enough to be a cleric. It doesn't make sense, given I've done most everything that a priest might do (well, no weddings of course). A priestess in all but name.
In some ways it's a little like practicing martial arts but not actually being a warrior. Cfynos Gwynt is that, no doubt. And past lives or no, I've not had to prove myself in that respect in this life -- and hope to never have to. Although this week I've been randomly visualizing using a sling, so I guess I better make one this spring.... Anyway, there is a difference between theory and practice, and between practice and the actual event. And apparently, for me anyway, there is a difference between being something and giving that something a name.
I very rarely name things; if you know a thing's nature, the name pales in comparison. Names are useful for referring to a thing, usually when communicating with another person. And maybe that's where the rub is for me.... it's one thing for me to know that I do priestly things, and another for other people to refer to me as a priestess. In the days of the old coven, we had a high priest and a high priestess and the rest of us were elders. I also had the title Monitor, and also helped with setup, education, counseling, etc. (not the only one, but I did a lot of it, esp. education). Then I went solo, and being solo it didn't really seem right to refer to myself as a priestess.
So, I guess it's time to make that decision, whether or not it's all right to be called a priestess. I had the same issues with being made a Laurel (SCA peerage recognition for Arts & Sciences). In fact I made a conscious decision for several years to avoid recognition, because I had other duties (my first time as baroness, and then helping to keep the group together after stepping down), and I didn't think I could do justice to additional duties.
And here I am again, a two-times peer in the SCA (2nd was for service), and baroness again. And learning more about the spiritual and ritual aspects of being a druid -- hard for me to think about them in words, when I've simply let everything be blended together most of my life. Hard to separate things out, read the words others have written, then put it all together again... the same and yet different. It's a good thing, but having read so little compared to others, and knowing that on top of that I have to re-learn things I haven't needed in years, and on top of that, the new life we're working on putting together for the future....
I guess I wonder sometimes if I'm thinking too highly of myself, to think I can actually do everything that needs doing. How much strength can I ask for from those around me? Don't the deities have plenty to do already?
Of course, they've given their answer, and more than once. Sacrifices in what things I do or don't do will have to be made. Among those, oddly, will be not reading all the books I am supposed to read -- or at least not this year. I have to read at least parts of some of them, enough to understand the direction of the author's wisdom, to know whether or not I already know what he or she is talking about. Others will be reference books. The 2nd degree curriculum calls for a lot of reading (especially a lot if you have a full life and still have a tendency to fall asleep when reading...). I'll get through the majority of them eventually, but I've been informed that my path isn't to follow the more standard path. Sigh.
Other sacrifices will be who I spend time with, and how much time I spend with them. My time in the SCA is becoming more limited, and so I'm working on spreading out the responsibilities I still have, so that I can still do the most needful things. This year, for instance, I'm working on getting people to recognize who the new class scheduler is for Novice Schola.
This year has the potential to be the year of the nearly impossible...
- Druid studies: reading, meditating, practicing, doing research for and creating an Imbolc ritual (among other things)
- I'm still unpacking, sorting through things, and re-packing/giving away/recycling/tossing things. This will probably be happening off and on all year. I may have to do it more than once for some things, as right now I can't always put the surplus stuff together in once place (physically impossible).
- PT will be happening for some months yet.
- Martial skills have to be learned and/or improved.
- Larger garden this year, and more food preservation
- Work for some SCA events this year. Local events, 12th Night, probably War of the Roses, Pennsic, maybe a few others.
- Preparation for Pennsic, and in particular organization of the Runnymede Dinner that Bergental is hosting
- Visit, probably in June, from the Grand Archdruid and the Archdruid of the West
- Try to schedule a few workshops this year. At least one in bookbinding. Would also like one on using a scythe, to start off the practical skills workshops.
- Weaving
- Painting
- Singing
- Hiking
- Everything else... and none of the above necessarily in the order in which it was written.
- Oh wait, there's one more thing.... very fuzzy, don't know if it will happen, but..... there's the possibility that we could find our new place to live this year -- the permanent place. We'd likely still be living at the farm for the next year, but working on fixing up another place at the same time. If this happens, all theoretical free time will be gone.
So, with all the above to do, the doubts on whether or not I'm worthy (but not for me to decide), am I ready to be called a priestess by other people?
Sure, why not. Let's call the rose a rose.
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