'nuther Dream

Meh. More going on than I want to write in detail, but it involved needing to be able to do multiple things at once... Testing a complex ritual because someone had a divination or something that said something bad was going to happen, and it had to be tested immediately, even though a large group ritual was about to start. Had to let myself in the proper gate, carry something from that gate around to where I was supposed to be, then go around the outside to return the item to the original gate... where was the gatekeeper? And there was someone in my position (who wasn't the gatekeeper), helping out which is good, but I hadn't known there would be someone there. And there were some helpful newbies near my spot who stopped me to offer to help in the future, if I could spend the time training them (um, chatting at a ritual? really, really new people...).

Oy. I felt bad because someone had had to cover for me, like I wasn't doing my job. And in real life we have folks in the SCA all the time, who instead of looking at what's happening so they can see where the problem spots are and ask about learning about those things, they expect to be spoon-fed -- give them a list of things, so they can check out the menu first, and be led through the process. Mind you, I do sometimes take on people and have them shadow or assist, but... it isn't how I ever worked, so I don't quite understand passive volunteerism. Actually, I don't really understand passive living, for that matter...

First Note: None of the above is in reference to folks in our study group. Although we may all be at different stages of study, experience, skills, everyone is an active learner. Thank goodness for that!

It's a little different with learning about ritual and magical things than what I think of as more everyday activities, because it isn't quite as obvious or simple, if you don't have much background in this kind of thing, as stepping in to help serve tables or wash dishes. Not that I had much trouble with learning these things (aside from memorizing specific wordings), but it isn't everyday stuff for everyone, so I understand that. I still remember being surprised at a woman who came into So-Fro Fabrics years ago, who didn't know how to sew and needed to make a shepherd outfit for her son. I mean, she was older than me, so I figured she must know how to sew! Shows my naivete, I guess.

And while it's highly unlikely that what happened in my dream would happen exactly like that in real life (trust me) -- it's certainly possible for a lot of stuff in general to be happening all at once. So I guess I better get cracking!

Hm, maybe it's time we get more into the roles that people play in a grove. CF noted that this is on the list, discussing the officers' duties. People are getting more practice in the different positions in the rituals, but maybe time to work on some of the nitty-gritty... or maybe I can write some stuff up. Or both. I'm glad people are getting practice in the different positions for rituals though, because it means that if/when some happens, like my having to be somewhere else for some reason, there will be someone who can take my place. Redundancy is a good thing! And everyone gaining more confidence is also a good thing!

Second Note: Didn't recognize anyone in the dream except one, who looked familiar but I wasn't quite sure who it was until I woke up. The man who stood in for me until I could get to and stay at my station looked to be JMG. I was little thrown off the the headgear, which wasn't the usual nemyss. I think it was a gold and red band, like a coronet type of deal, or maybe it could have been a cap of some sort... he has dark hair and it was dark above the red and gold, so it could have been his hair or the top of the hat. Definitely metallic gold and garnets or other clear, deep red stones. But he was wearing the green tabard that JMG wore at BTW last November. Weird... and makes me want to _really_ make sure I'm getting things done on time...

Third Note: Spent a little time today re-reading some of Judy Harrow's book, Spiritual Mentoring, before going on to parts I haven't read yet.

Dream

Well, didn't get the cool animals, boat, or deities in ancient dress, but more or less got the same message as Cyfnos Gwynt got some time ago. Hence my latest post of online articles only to a few folks earlier today.

Instead of forest, fields, and a river, I got a hospital or some sort of large building, and a train. And some other buildings in the beginning of the dream, I think... I remember looking at them and being told that I could continue to try to warn the people in the buildings, sending information to them to help them be more aware, and that was a choice I could make. But the strong recommendation was that I should be focusing on getting what I could from that society (materials-wise) only in order to apply it toward our future lives, for a smaller group of people. Basically, I had to choose joining the populace-at-large in their lives, or choose to work closer to home, completing the work that needs doing here. Since the way things are going currently in the work simply isn't working to create a sustainable and responsible way of life, I don't consider that a real choice.

There was a woman in a white coat, but even though she had a lot of medical experience and knowledge, and I was apparently supposed to help her to remember to take her meds. She has a lot of work to do, and needs all the help she can get in making sure her work gets done.

We got on the train and we'd been talking about something and I looked down for a moment, I think to get something out of a bag(?) or to look something up. When I looked up another woman showed up who chastised me for missing giving a pill to the doctor-woman, and that this was really bad thing. I said that I hadn't forgotten all of them, and had made sure she got the one just before the one we missed, and we agreed that the one missed one wasn't a complete disaster. But, I had to pay more attention and make sure she got the next one, which she was supposed to get in 6 hours.

Time amounts can be relative, considering I missed one of the pill times simply by looking down for a moment. We'd talked about the world and how it was all going, and the need to accomplish a lot of our projects. I didn't get much of an idea that there was anything new I need to be doing, aside from everything I'm already doing or starting to do. So I guess I need to focus more on getting more things done, and less on posting stuff or talking to people about all the events that are really happening in plain sight, if one is paying any attention at all.

Meanwhile, I still have the obligations of typing for my mom's book and of course the great new project with JMG of the Ogham deck to go with his book. The bits of income from those (one current and one future), plus the other odds and ends of working locally, are part of being able to bring some of the projects into fruition. Nevertheless, I have to pick up the pace, work harder on getting in shape, learning new things, clearing out stuff, etc.

The project with JMG looks like it may be contribute in other ways, as I have to really think things through for each card, learning more about trees, geometry, etc. An excellent project indeed!


Meantime, more work to do!

Additional Thought on Last Post

Have a magical connection while standing in hot tub, is sort of a real life reflection of my grove in some ways (except warmer -- don't want to cook the creatures that come by to visit the grove).

Haven't written about my personal astral grove here, but there's a pool that takes up the center of the grove, and in fact one way to enter the grove is from under the water. The gateways are on the land that surrounds the pool, but when I use an altar or do any work there, it is in or just over the center of the pool, depending on the type of work.

Birthday

I wrote about the various things I got to do on my birthday on my LJ, but this is in particular about going to East Heaven Hot Tubs. L and I favor their older, more traditional tubs, which are deep dark wood tubs, not the shallow plastic resin ones. Each room is a little different too. This one has a wood deck even with about half of the tub's rim. Part of it is against one of the shower walls, and past that bit of wall you can see the farther shower wall, which has a curve of blue tile on it, a sort of moon shape going onto the third wall of the shower area. The remainder of the tub edge is open to the walking/changing area and the steps leading up to the deck. There is a hanging plant in the space over the shower wall that's against the tub. We had an album by Enigma playing.

I love soaking in a hot tub, definitely a treat and one I don't get too often. And since we'd been going up on the hillsides clearing pipeline, it was more appreciated than usual by both of us.
Sans swimsuits of course, especially since it's just the two of us. I have a bad habit of leaving my swimsuit behind during changing to go home, so it's just as well, really.

Part way through we dispensed with the jets. They're nice for achey muscles, but they're also loud, and they change the dynamics of movement and heat of the water. L was taking a break from the heat, and I was enjoying the music, heat, water, misty air, the feel of moving in a semi-supported environment. Hot tubs of this sort are one of the most pleasant combinations of all the elements.

Something I don't usually do when other people are around is dance to the feel of the energy around me. It has to be a pretty special circumstance, like the one that I took an earlier name from of Moondancer. But this night was a good night for it, so I just slowly got into the feel of my surroundings, and then moved out, expanding, touching, reaching out... and then bringing it back in again. It seemed like a most appropriate time to heal, and more than just aching muscles. A time to celebrate movement and life, to give thanks and to accept strength and purpose.

I've never had much need for tools or prepared rituals, but sometimes they're useful. And certainly when sitting inside a cauldron, I'm not going to turn it down! Dancing in water with a goddess who revels in creation is a powerful thing. I did wonder briefly who it might be, in that most folks like to name the beings they meet, but a name is not terribly relevant to me. More important at the time was to embrace her presence and the gift of sharing space and time together, in such an intense way; something I would gladly do again. And not even knowing her name, still I pledged myself to her service, for I knew her to be a great power of the Earth.

When Cyfnos Gwynt mentioned in another post that she thought Ceridwen and I would be doing work together, that name fit for me. In fact, since some pagans relate Ceridwen to the full moon, it may be that I was dancing with her 25 years ago. That feels right to me as well.

Wales and parts of Britain have called to me since before I knew its name. As a child I traveled there in my dreams. Perhaps it was Her calling, and a few others, all the time. I left for a little while and traveled afar, life having its way with me, but now is the time for journeying home.

Cer(r)idwen

There isn't a lot known about the Welsh goddess Ceridwen, the bits of knowledge being scattered here and there. There is some thought that originally she was a corn goddess (found that tidbit over at About.com). She is often thought of as the Crone. Some take this to mean ugly, but older women, as I know from experience, can still be quite lovely ;) But regardless of outer appearance, the important part is that she is a mature person with years of experience and knowledge. She is supposed to have the gift of prophecy (but apparently only of other people's futures, not her own), and is the keeper of a cauldron of wisdom and inspiration.

The About.com article on her as the keeper of the cauldron says "Cerridwen is often granted the status of Crone, which in turn equates her with the darker aspect of the Triple Goddess.

As a goddess of the Underworld, Cerridwen is often symbolized by a white sow, which represents both her fecundity and fertility and her strength as a mother. She is both the Mother and the Crone; many modern Pagans honor Cerridwen for her close association to the full moon."

This puts her in the position of two out of three aspects of the Goddess. Interesting... One thing I don't like about people using the word "dark" is that some folks tends to think this means "bad" or "evil". Of course, some people think knowledge is bad -- anything they don't approve of, at any rate! Knowledge is knowledge; how one uses it is where the opinion of good or bad belongs.

***
From research on the name, in relation to use for naming of humans outside of myths, "Ceridwen was the goddess of poetic inspiration and the mother of Taliesin, the legendary bard. Her name may derive from ceiridd, a form of cerdd "song, poetry" and gwen "white" ".

From Wikipedia entry on Ceridwen, "From the Welsh cerydd, "chiding love", and gwen, "white, blessed". The theonym appears to be derived from Romano-British *Caritavena, Proto-Celtic *Karjitā-wenā a feminine compound meaning "chastisement-love" or "chiding love" "

I could sort of understand the second meaning if it might be referring to her being chastised for trying to give her son Mofran/Affagdu wisdom, rather than he helping with attaining it himself or her stirring the cauldron herself (true wisdom being only gained through one's own efforts, not through someone else's). But the first meaning makes more sense to me, because she was supposed to be a great sorceress/witch, and even when she was angry at gwion for inadvertently taking the gift of wisdom, she couldn't destroy what was not only beautiful, but full of wisdom as well. The tale of Taliesin only says that it was because he was so beautiful, but if she valued wisdom, knowledge, and creativity, I can't see her destroying that knowledge. Eating Gwion as the grain wasn't destruction really, because the gift was held within her until it was time for it to come forth once again.

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The number of children Ceridwen had is also a question. Many stories name two, but one site mentioned one daughter, Creirwy, and two sons, Morfran (with no positive attributes) and Mofran (ugly but a great warrior). Then, if you check out Ceridwen's husband, Tegid Foel at Wikipedia, there are mentions of other children. Specifically, "Apart from Creirwy and Morfran the Welsh genealogies also name other children of Tegid. The Vitae Sanctorum Britanniae et Genealogiae gives the following lineage: "Afan Buellt son of Cedig son of Ceredig son of Cunedda Wledig by Degfed ["Tenth"] daughter of Tegid Foel"; Rawlins MS B gives another genealogy naming another daughter, Dwywai". Possibly Ceridwen and Tegid had only two children at the time of the incident with the cauldron and young Gwion.

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Next, there is Ceridwen's cauldron. One site calls it Amen, but they have a number of typos at their site, so I expect they meant Annun/Annwn/Annwfn. Also, this wouldn't be the name of the cauldron, but of the place the cauldron came from (the otherworld). More than one cauldron is mentioned in stories/poems about the otherworld.

What's interesting to me is that Ceridwen's cauldron has to do with poetry, song, knowledge, wisdom. Bran's cauldron can bring people back to life. But when I was first getting involved in the Wiccan tradition years ago, I have this odd recollection that the two had been combined... now, Ceridwen being a powerful and knowledgeable woman, could certainly have been a healer as well as a poet. Ooo, found a reference to the cauldron being both for magic/inspiration and re-birth at the above-mentioned About.com article on C and her cauldron...

I have to wonder at including resurrection... of course Taliesin was re-born, so I suppose that might be where the idea came from -- although that's really reincarnation.

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If Morfran had received the three drops instead of Taliesin, he would have been accepted in polite society, probably have gotten married, and no doubt dispensed valuable knowledge to all who came to his court. I don't know if he would have traveled, because we don't hear anything about his character, nor is he involved in anyway with the work of creating the three drops. Instead, Gwion, who did the stirring for a year, acquires them, these precious drops that were created out of the work and knowledge of Ceridwen, in a special cauldron, heated by a fire fed by a blind servant. Then there is the chase (test/challenges of the knowledge?), and then being caught and re-born as a new person. Taliesin then is sent out into the world, advises much, travels more, and records important historical events.

So then, if one has Cerridwen as a patron, the tasks one has might include learning many kinds of knowledge, but also the promoting of learning to others. And there are all the facets/types of learning... magic, healing, divination, poetry, the inspiration that leads to creativity of all sorts.

As to why I'm writing about Ceridwen in particular, something interesting happened on my birthday, which I've been meaning to write about, and will, soon. But at some point after my birthday, Cyfnos Gwynt made a comment somewhere that she thought Ceridwen and I would be getting more involved somehow this year, and it struck me that this was probably a good naming for what happened.