Moonlight

The sun-filled moon shines down
Through sleeping trees' branches
Their shadows lay gently across the snow.
Peace.

White moonlight shines also
Through the icicles up high
Cold electric light startles with brightness.
Life.

Cold and chill is the night
Moon shines over the fields
A calm spreads across the shadowed hills.
Rest.

Follow-up Ritual to the One Started at the BTW conference in DE

We just completed the ceremony that needed to be done within the 24 hours before 10:24 a.m. EST today. This started in November, at the Between the Worlds: A Magickal Congress, that was held in November in Wilmington, Delaware. At the Grand Ritual people of many faiths came together to perform a ritual that it is hoped will help everyone along a higher spiritual path; to grow both as individuals and to seek ways to help the earth, which is in great need of healing on many levels.

Because of the ice, the ceremony was indoors. If we'd had time to do it before the study group yesterday, we might have been able to do part of it outside, although we still wouldn't have been able to plant anything as the ground is rock hard (well, not without a pick axe...)

Our ceremony was fairly simple. We opened a grove in the livingroom, which as the most space and the most light from the most directions. We then asked for the presence and guidance of Andraste, Brigid and Cernunnos on my part, and Ceridwen, Cernunnos and Herne on L's part. This was my first time lighting my Brigid candle that I'd gotten at the conference. I'm thinking that I may light it briefly over the winter whenever I'm starting a weaving and/or weaving-related session. I want to make sure to save some of it for Candlemas.

Then we took the vials of many waters and seeds (symbolic seeds) from the grand ritual and poured them into a little hole I made in some soil in a little pot. It's potting soil, but it's what I have available in winter. I also added in water from the spring here, to join the our personal local efforts to the group/universal efforts being made. We have two sources of water here in the house, and luckily the spring runs all the way from up the hill to the house, and one of its entrances into the house is in the back attic, just outside the kitchen.

We placed three seeds from the Japanese Maple that grows in Holyoke, into the pot of soil. They are a part of our past, and hopefully a part of the future as well.

This modest part of our journey will stay in the livingroom for now. If the maple seeds sprout, they may get planted here on the farm, although not immediately, as they'll be fragile at first. And, we aren't sure yet how long we'll be at the farm... But in a few years they should be ready to try living outdoors year-round, and we'll be there to nurture them.

We asked for the blessings and guidance of our deities in pursuing our studies and spiritual growth, as well as the crafts that we'll be pursuing in more depth as part of the 2nd degree AODA curriculum, and pray that our work will help, along with other folks, in serving the earth and all who live here.

Then we closed the grove.

***
Presences were definitely strong this morning, and it was good to feel their support!

And speaking of studies, I re-discovered some of the weaving books yesterday while tidying up in the SW room, so I'm off to poke through some of them.

Listening and Healing

Well, it has been a rather busy autumn/beginning of winter! I've been posting at my lj for the past few months, and of course moving, unpacking, getting my shoulder operated on, and now am in the recovery phase. Ordered lots of books, which at least Carw Gwynt has been enjoying... I find my reading is still limited in duration. Most of my energy is directed toward healing, and writing up posts on the live journal. Well, that's okay -- that's my personal and educational journal, among other things. I find stuff or think of stuff that I want to share with others, to spread the knowledge. Sometimes I get to learn from others too, which is very cool. Journals are nice because people can take or leave whatever they like, and I'm good with that.

When I'm working on my PT, doing energy work, or just sitting looking out the window, at all times I appreciate where I am living. Snow, sun or rain, day or night, it's a wonderful place to be. In the winter, sleep covers the land at last, and the trees are at rest. You can feel the sleepy thoughts as you sit there, and even more when outdoors walking. It is not just the cold making me sleepy, but the slowed dream state of nature. And yet, there is still the work for spring happening, in small and nearly still ways; to sleep is not to do nothing.

Even as I write here, I am often distracted by the outdoors, by all that surrounds us here. So much to do, so much on my plate, but none of it can be done without the healing energy of rest. And so I pause to rest and listen to hear what lies beyond the walls of this house... it takes hours to put together nearly every post, but I've been pretty happy with most of them. And they're leading me toward another post I'll eventually put together, when I have the energy to do it.

I look forward to tomorrow, when it should be warm enough for me to be outside for a while without putting my healing at risk. I'm inclined to take a walk up the hill, above the double sugarhouse. I was seeking water last week and think I may have found a spot that's close to the surface, but I couldn't get to it then. Yes, still practicing for my spirals, just without much book reading right now. It's much the same with divination for me right now -- I read what I can, and I look out the windows, and listen. There is much to hear.

Moondancer - reminiscing

A long time ago I used to go by the name Moondancer, for online chats on Cyber. Partly it was a play on the fact that I worked at a comic book store called Moondance Comics. Partly it was because of a trip to visit some friends in Leominster, MA. It was probably for a Game-related event (LARP before they called it that). There was a chaotic dinner at Denny's, late at night. Then one of our hosts suggested going for a walk in a cemetery they knew of - it being a full moon that night, we'd have plenty of light, and she said it was a beautiful place.

So, off we go, and indeed it was a beautiful place, with wide paths, smooth lawns and great trees throughout the property. One lawn was near/over part of the crypt (where they keep bodies if the ground is frozen, until warmer weather). It was perfect -- level, soft, no sticks, and edged on three sides (or was it the curve of a semi-circle?) with some of the great, tall trees.

The moon shone down on the grass, casting a silvery sheen across it. Standing there, I just listened to the trees, the grass, the earth, the sky, the stars and moon.

If you are silent and listen, you will hear their music. Be still, and you will feel the rhythm. And then, becoming one with all that is around and within you, dance.

Two Strange Dreams and What Follows

First, my dream(s):

I had a number of odd dreams last night, one sort of leading to another. There was representing/defending a woman (who wasn't there) to a bank/financial institution that claimed she'd taken money that wasn't hers (testimony was given, although I had to push/strongly encourage the fellow who had the best evidence to provide, but didn't think they'd listen to him). There was going along in a building and discovering that by jumping up and doing a bit of a swimming motion with my arms, I could figure out how to stay up and fly around indoors - a new one for me. Eventually I didn't really need the arm motions, but flying indoors seems to require more precision and care - and there were more dangers in the room we were in than in a regular room, like the waterfall/dam toward one end of the room, which had a couple of nasty-looking metal gears/cogs at the far end of the top of the fall.

Then we (me and L and some other people) were in a room where we were told "The hallowed must eat the hallows on the sacred day." Um, what? We were thinking about things that would be sacred and one thing listed was vinca minor, which as far as I know isn't edible by people, and I woke up.

Thinking about it afterward (somehow the previous dreams led up to this point), I realized that "eat" didn't have to be to literally put something in one's mouth. You can take something into yourself mentally, emotionally, spiritually. As for physically, one can take things in by sight, hearing, touching, and breathing.

The sentence really stuck with me though, so I decided to follow up on some things, to confirm my thoughts.

First, a note from Wikepedia:

Hallow: The noun is from the Old English adjective hálig, nominalized as se hálga "the holy man", seo hálge "the holy woman". The verb is from Old English hálgian, cognate to Old Saxon hêlagôn, Old High German heilagôn, Old Norse helga, all from a Proto-Germanic *hailag-, from a PIE stem *kail-o-, from the same root also found in English hail, health and whole. The adjective heil "fortunate" referred to a sort of beneficient capacity or "luck" received by the kings from the gods. Bede tells us that September was called Halegmonath, the month of sacred rites.

The Gothic for "holy" is either hailags or weihaba, weihs. "To hold as holy" or "to become holy" is weihnan, "to make holy, to sanctify" is weihan. Holiness or sanctification is weihia. Old English like Gothic had a second term of similar meaning, weoh "holy", with a substantive wih or wig , in Old High German wih or wihi (Middle High German wîhe, Modern German Weihe). The Nordendorf fibula has wigiþonar, interpreted as wigi-þonar "holy Donar" or "sacred to Donar". Old Norse ve means "temple". The weihs group is cognate to Latin victima, an animal dedicated to the gods and destined to be sacrificed.

The entry also goes into objects that were/are considered hallows/holy things, most of them inedible in the common meaning of the word - the six hallows of the Tuatha de Denaan, the four treasures of Ireland (the Spear of Lugh, the Stone of Fal, the Sword of Light of Nuada, and The Dagda's Cauldron). The treasures have also been equated with the elements (air, earth, fire, water), and have apparently gone on to become the foundation for the Tarot suits: baton/wand, coin, sword, and cup.

Second Dream:

If you combine this with elements of a dream that Carw Gwynt had last night, where a magician was doing a show and was looking for the card I'd picked from his deck, things get even more interesting -- CG and I had gotten separated and he was trying to find me. There were many sets of stairs but only one that didn't have some sort of paid entertainment at the top of it. Up he went, and got nearly to the top. There were some complications with the topmost staircase moving up and down - he ended up jumping down back into the courtyard below, where a slight man came up and handed him a card and told him "Special Delivery!" and CG had to get it to me right away. So off he went, back up the stairs. But the man said he wasn't going quickly enough, and grabbing him by the shins (so that CG was still upright), he ran up the stairs, counting in French. CG counted with him (un, deux, trois), and other people on other stairs joined in (quatre, cinq,!) as the two men passed them by. Time was of the essence. They got to the top, where the magician was trying to find the card, and then CG goes up to him and hands him the card, saying "Special Delivery!" The card is the Queen of Diamonds (playing decks are descended from the minor arcana of the Tarot -- diamonds are equated to coins.

Traditionally, my signifier is the High Priestess, but the card may be a message as to taking a particular action. I think it's sort of appropriate that CG was the one to bring the message, as his signifier is the Hermit -- the seeker.

Second, some info on Vinca Minor:

We have a bunch behind the garage. An excellent shady/part sun ground cover with a pretty blue/purple flower earlier in the summer. The leaves are evergreen. Also called, Periwinkle, Small Periwinkle, and in the US also sometimes called Myrtle or Creeping Myrtle (a confusion with myrtles, another type of plant). I learned the last name myself, and will have to discard that now.

In traditional medicine, the dried leaves, aerial parts, and in some cases the entire plant of Vinca, are used to enhance blood circulation, including that of the brain, enhance metabolism in the brain, and to treat cardiovascular disorders. Was used for headaches, vertigo, and poor memory. Modernly it isn't recommended for internal use because of the alkaloids in it, which can cause serious kidney and liver damage. I think having some as an element on the altar or as a wreath would be suitable however. Also, while that was the plant that really got my attention, there are of course other plants that are sacred in one way or another, some of which are edible, like hazelnuts (which can enhance magical power), and of course apples, which are more and more appropriate as we appropriate their harvest time.

Third, the Queen of Coins:

From one Web Site (aleph): Tranquil virtue is the noble quality of the Queen of Coins. She is neither living for the spectacular nor longing for risky adventures. Devotion and participation are her characteristics. As her emotions are balanced, she is strong in supporting others.

Get rid of oppressive thoughts and dreams about the impossible. Accept yourself and others in order to understand your immediate environment which is forming your life. Spread affection and harvest the fruits of this precious seed.

At another Web Site, it give other information that is supposed to be related to the card - The full moon in Capricorn - A woman of power. It says that this is a good card to meditate on when you need help getting your power back, that sometimes we give too much of our power away to others, letting them take credit for our work or not taking time to appreciate what we have contributed. When you take care of yourself first, you'll have plenty to give to others. That's something I've tried to remind some friends about from time to time, because if you exhaust/overextend yourself, you are of no use to yourself or your friends/family -- possibly when they _really_ need you.

Then goes on to say that in a reading the queen of coins is "a woman of wealth and poise who supports the arts and volunteers in her community. She loves being a mother and devotes much of her time to her family. She will go to great lengths to keep her family and its reputation safe. Her children are well educated and have the best of everything in life." Of course, one has to think carefully on what the "best" is -- that doesn't mean that they will get everything that they want. Spoiling people does neither you nor them any favors.

Fourth, the General Meaning of the Suit of Coins, according to bellaonline.com:

This suit represents the material aspects of our lives - our finances and possessions, accomplishments, manifestations, business, trade, land, home, our level of abundance. The Coins also represent our bodies, level of vitality, connection to the Earth and Nature, and our genetic heredity. Positive characteristics associated with this suit include our status in society, our personal values and our inner sense of self-worth. The Coins speak of our feelings of safety, our ability to relax and not fret or worry - to create, enjoy beauty and a zest for life. They also represent our strengths, talents, rewards for effort well-spent, and social/family support networks. Negative connotations include material loss, low self-esteem, pessimism, materialism, compromised values, stubbornness, inflexibility, and the practical concerns that make us worry.

Fifth - Sacred Days

Coming up, next full moon is August 28, then Alban Elued (autumnal equinox), then Samhain.

***
Final analysis?

Well, we do have a lot going on in our lives, and I think that these dreams are pointing to more than one thing at once.

On the practical side, we have a lot more packing/moving/renovating to do. In fact I'll be working more on that this afternoon (CG/L is working one of the projects even as I write this). We have to move as quickly as possible on the house projects, in order to sell the house this autumn. The house is in my name, btw, so I really am the Queen of Coins in that respect as well :)

On the spiritual side, I've been thinking more about asking about possibly receiving an exemption on the First Degree (is that what it's called? an exemption?) for AODA. Cyfnos Gwynt mentioned that even before CG and I joined AODA, and a few times since, but I thought it would be polite to learn more about the AODA and how things are done first. And of course real life has been a pretty exciting ride this summer! And I've been trying to put in words why exactly I should even try for the degrees, except as a part of sort of following the interesting curriculum (structure, what a concept!). In truth, I've been practicing most of the Sun, Moon, and Earth Paths for years, so it's mostly been picking up things from the Spirals that have been new-ish for me (been doing a lot of those things as well for many years, just didn't have the names for some of it - AODA has been good for me, in that way and others). So, why go for First Degree or any of the rest of it?

I could just say that intuitively it feels right. Also, the not-too-subtle messages I've gotten over time that I should do this. Or how about that I already live and breathe the druidic way of life, so perhaps I should officially acknowledge this fact by asking to be accepted in an organization for this honor and responsibility?

Time for some things is racing now; I've felt it for some time. Once I made the commitment to join an organization that aligned so well with how I look at and live life, I made the commitment to progress in learning whatever I needed to learn, in order to better serve our lovely and beleaguered Earth, and our community, be the members, plants, creatures, and the elements/powers of which these are composed. And although I know that this learning will continue all my life, there is a certain level of knowledge/experience/accomplishment that I need to attain fairly quickly.

Changes are sweeping our world, our nation, and our homes. In some places it is happening sooner than others. We will need a core of people who are willing to help/teach others many different skills, crafts, new/old ways of living, and more. My family has always served, and teaching, counseling, and learning have always been a part of that. It's an odd sort of thing in a way, because we do it despite the wish of every single one of us to live a quiet life.

So, I suppose I seek accreditation within the AODA in part because of the duty I see ahead of me. But, as the things I'm learning are mostly joyous things to do, and because I (mostly!) like learning new things, there are certainly plenty of personal rewards to go with that duty.

And too, it has been a joyous thing to share this passion for this way of life with others, and to make new friends as well. To share learning, feelings, and food with others, to with with others as well as alone, all these have been wonderful things to do, and I look forward to many more years of this.

A few thoughts

As some folks know, L and I will be moving to Ashfield in October (assuming all goes according to schedule). So we've been packing, moved some things into storage in the barn, rearranging things in the house. L's been painting, plastering, working on window frames, etc. I was able to help with some of the painting later in this past week, and no doubt will get to do more this coming week. We had some help from friends yesterday with washing, packing, carpentry, etc., which was greatly appreciated.

Today we'll choose a place for the new garden, find a spot for the shed to go, and start preparing the land for some of our plants from here in Holyoke. It's been kind of a surreal week, for me anyway. L and I made an extra trip with some of our belongings earlier in the week, and then I made another one by myself, with things light enough for me to be able to move alone (although my FIL W ended up kindly offering his help, which was much appreciated!).

I've been expecting something to happen this autumn for months now and yet, now that the time is here, it still doesn't seem quite real at times. We've lived in this house since the spring of 1996, and have made a good home here. The thought of living elsewhere had become like a dream in that time.

And while there is much to look forward to, I'm going to miss my friends here quite a bit. Not my human friends, who can come visit me or I them -- the sugar maple, the Japanese maple, and the apple trees. I worry about the latter three, hoping the new people will like them and care for them. It's out of my hands, of course -- they're too large to move, and they're used to being here now. But still I feel badly that I cannot guarantee to them that they'll be cared for and appreciated. I can only hope.

No time for weaving this past week, although L and I had both hoped to do so. We'll have to make the time this coming week, even if only for an hour. There is still so much to do, and the realtor is coming Monday morning for a little tour and meeting. After the meeting we'll have a better idea of what is the best order in which to do the things that need doing.

So, I suppose this is all the usual difficulties of moving. Chaos, hard work, joy and sorrow.

***
We went with Cyfnos Gwynt and crew to look at an 82-acre piece of land in Hawley yesterday. We only saw a small part of it, as we were unsuccessful in meeting up with the agent. There's a river on one bound, a bold and brassy fellow, who was beckoning us to adventure. If CG et al end up buying the land, I'll take him up on his offer.

There's a low meadow that looks like it gets flooded at least some years, from the highwater marks on the bridge just outside the property. Apparently there's another open space on a ridge at one end of the land. There's quite a lot of woods on the hill, and as Cyfnos Gwynt noted, there is a lot of wildlife there. Also, we both noted that there's definitely water sources in the hill; I expect it won't be hard to find a good spot for a well. Great potential for the prospective grove and sanctuary, if they're able to get the construction loan/mortgage.

The community is a tempting one for me; after all, it would be great to all live close to one another, work together, and more. And I do know that we will do some sorts of work together, over time. But this place we looked at is too far from Ashfield to live at for us, and too far even for visiting more than once a week, although I can see possible overnight visits if we had something going on there that took a few days. It's about 17 miles between the farm and Hawley.

There is the practical aspect that we're moving to Ashfield to help out at the family farm, but also I think we need to consider that we already have some connections in Ashfield (both people and the land itself), so our efforts are better spent building community there. Wherever the grove ends up being, we will support it of course. But perhaps it's better to have two places of learning, sanctuary, community. In the long run we may have a greater impact. In any case, I don't think we're meant to be in Hawley, at least not in the near future.

Then too, there is the fact that as we spend more time at the farm, that I can feel a familiarity that is from memories from before I ever worked there. And it doesn't hurt that I can visit with my sister the spring in South Pasture, even as I sit here at the PC in our house in Holyoke.

So, we'll bring what we can from our old life here to the new one at the farm. I'm hoping to collect some seeds from the Japanese maple, to try to start a child of hers. And we have one of the sugar maple's children already, in a pot waiting for the move.

Meantime, I guess it's time for me to get moving again, as we're taking another load up to the farm today.

Peace to all,
H

Creating

Yes, after not posting for a few weeks, I'm posting a bunch of stuff. Been busy with the house, farm, and weaving. Lots of weaving.

Which is why the writing, because weaving means thinking & meditating, not just doing. And eventually the brain gets full and things need to get put down on paper.

Right now I'm working on the Mountain table loom, which I've woven at in various places. My favorite place so far is sitting on a chair with my knees to either side of the loom, which is sitting on a chest.

So it occurred to me that this was a rather personal relationship to my work, much more so than the floor loom or drawing/painting at a desk. The floor loom I haven't done enough work on yet to know how I'll end up modifying my time with it -- it's large so I kind of feel like I'm hugging it or dancing with it, depending on what I'm doing. And now that I'm thinking on it, I tend to envelope my desk too (get up close, lean over things, etc.). Throwing on a pottery wheel is more of the same. I'm literally drawing the work into my creative center, and then the creation comes out and is revealed.

I pondered whether this could be the same for men, since they can't physically give birth to a baby, and decided that yes, it could be the same. They do after all contribute to creating life, and in the Eastern thinking, we all have our creative center in the same place, the Dan Tien. This is sort of in the middle of the torso (middle as in front to back), about 2 inches below the belly button. It is here that we store energy to be used as needed by us to move, think, heal, digest, etc.

I'm really enjoying the weaving. In the beginning I wasn't always crazy about all aspects of it, and of course I still have issues occasionally (probably always will), like last night when I cut off some of the scarves and tied the ends of the warp back on to the lead that winds onto the winding bar.... from the wrong side of the beater bar. Sigh.

But I've enjoyed learning the different rhythms of winding, warping, and even correcting errors. It's always a pleasure to take a moment and just look at what is being created before your eyes, and know that you had a part in it, too. And except for when I'm timing sections too see how I'm doing at improving my timing/weaving rhythm, I can stop to pet the cat when she comes by to say hello, or take a break to have tea and read a bit, or go out and bring in the laundry because the weather's threatening. These days, I'm enjoying crafting not only fabric, but also interweaving all the aspects of living life.

And that's life, isn't it. Plants don't grow in a vacuum, separate from one another, always getting the perfect amount of water, nutrients, sunlight, always the perfect weather. Animals don't always get all the food, shelter, or companionship they need or want, either. Life has limits and boundaries. We may push at these from time to time, and some limits should be pushed (like stretching ourselves to learn more, to think in different ways, do different things) -- other limits should be respected, like not abusing our resources.

I learn because I enjoy learning, but also because it sometimes helps me to be a better part of the whole picture. And I enjoy creating because that's part of how I am part of the whole picture.

Body, mind, and spirit, in balance. Good for druids, good for anyone.

ZOG

The title for this post is a reference to a tv show called Babylon 5. There are people seeking alliances in a great battle against an ancient enemy, and having to speak with races that don't commonly associate with the 'younger' species. One gives the response "ZOG" to the question of whether they will ally against the enemy. It remains unknown whether this means yes, no, or something else, until the great battle begins.

Energy tends to be treated by people as positive or negative. "Good" or "bad" energy. People like to label and categorize things, and things should only be in one category. But it's all relative to your perspective -- how a person, event, whatever -- affects you personally. Really, it doesn't make sense to refer to energy as good or bad, or even healthy and unhealthy. Excess energy that creates inflammation for instance, isn't unhealthy in and of itself, but the side effect of it being there is. What's _really_ bad is whatever caused the inflammation in the first place.

Energy is energy. It doesn't have human morals or intent; it just is. In reiki, chi gong, and tai chi, we do a lot of work with circulating energy, with bringing in energy and with clearing the channels. Sometimes people will refer to an area in a body being hot, cold, congested, or stuck.
You may have too little energy in one area and too much in another (the latter usually because it's trapped - circulation needs to be worked on).

When one works on self- or other-healing using energy, the goal is to cleanse the body of energy that is not helpful in healing the body, and to bring in energy that will be helpful. You take energy from the universe, but you also give it back. The energy you are giving back may be just the stuff that someone else needs. In this way we create balance within the body, and perhaps help someone else to do the same.

Zog.

Water water everywhere...

This is a bit more on the hike on Mount Toby, but also about the spring on the hillside at the farm in Ashfield.

As we were going up Mt. Toby, I paused to give greeting to the stream there, and then asked if perhaps it knew the spring on the hillside. The mountains are some miles away from one another, but not so far in terms of water and land on a slightly more global scale. I pictured all I know of the lady of the spring, the waterfall, the land it flows through and over, and asked this stream if she knew my cousin. The reply was somewhat distant -- we weren't near the source -- but she allowed as they were acquainted. I asked if I should convey greetings of any sort, if only of our having met, and she said that yes, she thought I should give greeting to my sister. We parted then as it was time each of us went on our ways, but it was a very positive meeting and I think that helped my energy stay high for the long hike up the mountain.

It occurs to me that some folks might think it odd to refer to a spring, stream, fall, body of water as being kin. Yet it seemed completely natural to me at the time to refer to the Ashfield lady of the spring as my cousin. And it was special indeed to have that amended to sister. I am honored indeed.

We are all created out of the same beginning stuffs though, so kinship should not seem that strange, if one gives it some thought. I for one grew up with a number of aunts and uncles who were not blood-kin, but friends of my parents. And commonly Gaia is also called Mother Earth, so it seems only natural that one might find family elsewhere besides the usual human societal places.

House Hunting

Well, not in the usual sense.

Cyfnos Gwynt and her lady Jeni (and of course Carw Gwynt) know about my 'perfect moment' from some years ago... standing in the kitchen at Massasoit Street preparing parsley to dry, with the sun shining gently through the windows, and suddenly I had a moment of knowing that this was what I should be doing - accompanied by knowing that I'd be working on various arts and things around the home, and that people would come by to see and/or buy some of that artwork.
There was hillside out the door, open and grassy nearby. Some place out in the countryside.

When we were over for the barbecue party and then visiting with CF and Jen, Jen asked if I'd ever looked around the place, and I had to say that it hadn't really occurred to me to do so. I'd been perfectly content to know that this place was out there somewhere, and that if I could get on and stay on the right path, eventually I'd get there.

But it was an interesting thought, and I figured I could use the practice, so I've done a few directed meditations on it. Not perfect by any means, but I've gotten some more detail. I don't want to share all of it until I'm a little more sure of things, but I wanted to write down a little of it here. The initial room from years ago isn't in a house, it's a work room that's separate from a house, part of a barn/outbuilding structure. Big enough for herbal work and also other work with plants (like preparing flax), with several tables, counters, shelving, rafters. Windows for lighting. I don't know if people who haven't seen barns in real life know that barns can have windows, but depending on the function of the barn (or part of the barn), they can.

I'll write more later, but it's time to get ready to go up to the farm.

Summer Solstice and Full Moon, Combined Ritual

I don't normally do anything really formal in observation of the full moon, but I had started something at Solstice and it seemed like a good time to finish it.

I had lavendar drying on a high shelf in the living room by the chimney -- it had been blessed by summer solstice rains as I collected it. I kept the bowl with the roses in water underneath it between solstice and the full moon, letting the essence of the rose passively infuse the lavendar.

I made little pouches from some of the fabric I've woven this year. In them I put some of the lavendar and the roses. I held them over the incense in the East, then over the candle in the South, then took a few drops of water from the bowl in the West to sprinkle in them, and then some salt from the cauldron in the North, asking for each quarter's blessings, guidance, and protection to be infused into these little sachets. The candle, water, and salt are the same that were in the cauldrons when we observed the Summer Solstice. The incense we're currently using is a mix of dried herbs, so not really possible to use twice.

Then I took thread and needle and sewed each one shut, sealing in these precious energies. There is still some of the lavendar left, which I'm going to put up in Z's room, being the highest point in the house. The water remaining in the blue bowl will stay by the chimney, which is at the center of our activities, until it's all evaporated into the house's environs.

The sachets are currently at rest by the bed, where I keep my current Crane bag and some other special things. We're both working on Crane bags more suited to our persons and our activities; when those are done, we can put the sachets in them.

Hmm. Maybe I need to warp up the Ahrens again, so I can start work on those at the same time I'm weaving scarves for Ashfield Fall Festival. If we work together the warping won't take long, and then we can each have fun building the bodies of our bags.

Weirdness

Had a couple of dreams... The one I remember involved being at a large white building(s). It was long and sort of like two buildings, with open air and connecting walkways between the two halves. One half was for classes, training, networking, chatting, etc. The other half was for staying in for a short while. Some sort of confusing stuff happened with trying to find a place; L had set something up somewhere in the building. I went outside and was handed a fan, which had a handle and longer feathers sticking up on either side of the fan part, which made it sort of look like a "Y" with the v part filled in. On the fan were the names Harry on one half, Sally on the other half, and my name top and center. I was supposed to use this to help me find the place L had set up. Now, it's pretty funny having the names Harry and Sally, because of the movie When Harry Met Sally. But I'd done a little quick research on redtail hawks for a friend who wondered about their significance, and found that the Dine (Navajo) have feather fans, and one of them is a redtail hawk fan of 12 feathers. Half of the feathers represent men and male attributes, and the other half represent women and female attributes. I think my name being top/center was a combination of these attributes, and the Y shape was sort of like a dowsing stick (upside-down though, but that wouldn't be anything new for me).

I woke up before I could use it, but I'm guessing it's time to take the dowsing exercises outdoors. I've been thinking that for a while actually, but finding the time to go looking for ley lines has been difficult. Hm. I'll read up on it and try a couple of things... since one thing you can do is dowse on maps, and we have some topo maps. Plus, I'm decent with a pendulum already since I sometimes use one when doing reiki.

***
Yesterday we were going to go to the fleamarket in the morning, except that it's on Sundays not Saturdays. So I suggested stopping by the farm museum in Hadley, since we hadn't been there in a while. They've done some rearranging of things, added some stuff, refurbished one of the old rug looms and starting warping it, etc. We looked at various old farming equipment, starting with part of the first floor, then down into the basement, then another part of the first floor, then up to half of the second floor, then up to the narrow third floor (in the roof area). L knows what most of all of it is, of course; I knew a bunch of it, but not much about things like the milling and grinding type stuff, or some of the field equipment. Anyway, third floor was weaving and spinning equipment, some interesting bed frames, and 1800s types of crutches and stuff. I started getting nervous about where I put my feet. L was seemingly unaffected, and looking at things I knew the floor and barn was solid, and thought that maybe I was just a little nervous being on the third level. We went back down to the 2nd floor, to look at the other half of the floor, and the feeling came back. Both times it was at the same end of the building. Then we went on down, read some things by the entrance, talked some more with the curator, and left to go to the barbecue party in Sunderland.

The party was a post-wedding/early going away party (the couple is moving to Oklahoma at the end of July). We visited with various folks, part of that time being with Cyfnos Gwynt and her lady J. I was little curious about her most recent dream, not that much detail could be gone into at a party, but mostly about the general nature. We talked about a few things, but I was still a little tapped into the dream talk and travelling discussion as well, when suddenly I was surrounded by a turbulence of fear and terror; I wanted to cry from the strength of the feelings. I managed to have the presence mind to put up an SoP, and concentrate on feeling/being protected, and pushed back at the sensations. Although it was a piece of something from the not-near future, it was a reflection of a time of violence, distress, and chaos that encompassed the area of Sunderland we were in down to Hadley (two towns that are a few miles apart), and probably out to at least the periphery of adjacent towns.

Looking back, I realized I was getting parts of this over the past winter/spring, but attributed at least some of it to the normal anxiety of doing research on peak oil, climate change, etc. and trying to get an idea of the whole picture.

In discussions with CG after the party (left after a while - the music there was bothersome after some time), she mentioned her theory that Holyoke would end up being an island of sorts (has hydroelectric dam, among other things), although it wouldn't be immune to issues. But that may be why I've been more sheltered previously. Also, have been spending more time in various types of meditation -- got a lot of weaving done, too...

***
So, think I'll spend some more time doing some directed meditation on particular subjects. I don't know as I want to do much with what I experienced yesterday, but I'm going to work on visiting my dream house, among other things. And work with dowsing too, of course. And maybe I'll go back this week and look at the song I wrote a few weeks ago.

A Walk, a talk, a hope

***
Ended up making the walk up the hill the next day instead, and found that the cemetery people had picked up most of the larger pieces of trash. I had to pause near the beginning of my walk because there was a discontented spirit in the cemetery, by Louise R and her son's stone. She was distressed over what was happening in the world, with people not using resources wisely. That's not exactly how she put it, of course... more like, why aren't people saving their money properly, why are they wasting food? Why do they leave things laying around, letting the world look terrible and letting things get neglected and falling apart? Why aren't they taking care of things so that my grandchildren and the children in the future have a good place to live? I agreed that this was so, and that there were many bad things happening right now, but some of it was unavoidable since change is unavoidable, and that we the living would just have to do the best we could to do right things. Her agitation subsided and I didn't feel anything from her on a later walk up the hill with L.

I did do a fair amount of picking up of not only the gate area, but also back down to our house... cigarette butts, a smashed bic pen, a broken balloon, various small pieces of paper and broken glass, some pieces of plastic.

***
Was corresponding with flidaisairmid on her LJ about planting trees as part of being in AODA and fulfilling the curriculum reqs, and told her a bit about our trees here. I can't say I've planted one specifically for AODA yet, although we have plans for trees up at the farm -- details to be worked out still, of course. But in the meantime I can continue to work with the trees here. The sugar maple was here when we bought the house, and is a fine and handsome tree. Very large and for the most part doesn't need our assistance, but we have watered it on occasion during very dry summers, and this past spring I was taking what snow I could and putting some against the roots around the base to try to increase the heat/cold contrast for it (what gets the sap going), and putting other snow in a curved pile on the drip line. The dwarf apple trees we planted about 5 years ago; the liberty is doing well, and even started giving us apples a few years earlier than the garden place said she would. I have a little thinning out to do this week, so that she isn't overburdened and also the apples will be a bit larger as a result. She and the other apple get extra water from time to time, as they're still on the young side. The other apple is a Granny Smith, and has a different growing habit and also has had more trouble adjusting to living here. I've changed the type of plants growing around her and she seems happier this year. Still suffering from some rust, but this year is the longest she's managed to retain her apples!

When I first was talking about trees with flidaisairmid, I'd forgotten to mention the Japanese Maple; I think because she was never a project kind of tree -- not a fruit or nut tree. Our next door neighbors in Northampton had planted one many years ago, and I'd grown up with it, thinking it was one of the most beautiful trees. After many years it finally had a few babies, a couple of which were growing on my parents' property in the side bed of pacchysandra. When L and I moved from there, I gathered up as many of my personal plants as I could, plus samplings of some of my favorites of my folks plants, and potted up one of the baby Japanese Maples as well -- it was feeling adventurous :) It had to stay in a pot for a year, because first we ended up living in Sunderland in an apartment, before we found the house in Holyoke, where we are now. I found the best spot I could in the backyard. I knew it could tolerate a fair amount of shade, but wanted some sun for it. I worried a little about it getting enough, but the nearest maple (backyard neighbor's yard) was doing very poorly and would likely be coming down in a few years. Then I worried when the backyard neighbor decided to plant shade bushes against the fence. And this year she could use a tiny bit of trimming of a few dead minor branchings. Overall though, I believe she's thriving, and has a graceful form. I shall definitely miss her when we move again. She started putting out seeds a year or so ago, but of course none of them have taken yet, either through lack of complete maturity or lack of numbers to survive being eaten by squirrels. Japanese Maple aren't native to New England, and they are such slow growers and of a curving nature so they don't make good lumber either, so it's a good thing they aren't overly productive here, because then they would become a 'pest' tree. It's my hope though to save a few of the seeds and maybe try to grow one after we've moved. I'd like to bring a friend from home. They make excellent understory trees, and you can grow ground covers and shade plants under/near them; sometimes an exotic can belong in a strange land.

That's certainly my hope and intention when we move to Ashfield. Being half English and half Chinese (with distant smatterings of Scottish and I think Isle of Guernsey), I've never belonged to any one group in a racial sense. Caucasians tend to treat Eurasians as Asian, and Asians treat them as Caucasian. You can either resent this sort of thing or learn to ignore it. Fortunately Ashfield isn't your usual stereotypical small town. Interesting people have come to live there, or are from there and went out to do interesting things in the world before coming back. They have a thriving arts community too. So, I'll sort of belong to the local people by marriage, and belong to the arts community. Most people have a need to figure out what 'category' you're in -- makes them feel more comfortable and more accepting. This is both good for me personally, and will hopefully be good for the community, when we start doing different things like trying out different crops, different ways of doing things around the house/farm -- they may even like some of these things and try them for themselves :) They and we have all sorts of knowledge and experience worth sharing.

Review of the mountain, music, and a neighbor

I was still thinking about the mountain seen in the pool after I finished yesterday's post, and was not satisfied with how I described things. My focus is usually elsewhere, so I never really thought about it in such specific terms before. The mountain is and is not there... like a vision that appears in the pool. Verdant and waiting. Perhaps it's time to go visit it.

Cyfnos Gwynt mentioned listening to the music of nature, and I'm so glad to know people who are aware of this!

Talking about adventures of younger days with another friend some time ago, I told him about a group of us going for a walk at a nearby cemetery, and that I had danced on one of the lawns under the full moon. The cemetery had a space that was away from where all the graves are, with a beautiful soft lawn, not a stick or stone to hurt the foot. He wondered at how I could do that, as he assumed - rightly - that we hadn't brought any music player or instruments with us. It's simple enough, really. You just have to be still and listen. You'll hear the heartbeat of the land, the little songs of small plants and creatures, the greater songs of the trees that sweep through you, the far-off stars even, and the very air itself. No need to fear the spirits of those who have passed and whose material bodies rest nearby, if you dance with respect.

Speaking of respect, I should take a walk up the hill today. We have a cemetery up around the corner from us, and the other night as we were walking back from Stop & Shop, we passed several presences, including the one that's been inviting me to walk up the hill. There's quite a bit of trash accumulated on the sidewalk where it is, and it's a bothersome thing, so I need to do a little cleanup there.

A walk or two on the other side

Back when L and I went to reiki classes, we would usually meditate as part of the sessions, and always before the attunements. Our instructor liked to do guided meditations and would try different things, to expose us to different possibilities and such.

Elements of my attunement meditations/visualizations definitely stayed with me, and I'm going to try to write down one of them down here. One of the advanced participants said we shouldn't describe our "spirit guides" in too much detail. I have no fear that I'll leave some things out anyway, if that is a true concern. As far as my occasional spiritual partner in healing is concerned though, it isn't.

Guided meditations make suggestions about how you're getting to a place and what you might see there, but they are only suggestions, and much is left to the individual's discretion and personal experience.

I started by walking a path through a narrow way. I had come out of a forest and walked upon a roughly-formed path of stone, through a narrow fissure in the high stone walls that enclosed a secret valley. The stone is a mix of red, pink, and light golden beige tones. The path goes up a little, curves slightly here and there, then gently descends. Stepping off the path, there is a small valley, verdant and vibrant with life. Off to the left there is a clear, bright waterfall, cascading straight down from the top of the valley's wall. It falls into a deep, clean pool of water. The sun is shining brightly, the sky a clear, intense blue -- the color of sky turquoise.

Walking over to the pool, I meet a man. Tall, lean and fit, long dark hair, dark-eyed, tanned skin. He has an antlered deer head on his head, with the skin falling down over his shoulders and back. He's wearing some sort of decorative items across the chest, a loin cloth, and knee-high moccasins. On top of the deer's head is a lotus flower, and although it never has any fewer petals, there are lotus petals falling and settling around his feet.

We dive into the pool and swim in the lovely darkness. Dark, and yet we can see. I can see that sometimes his hands are deer hooves, his limbs and body those of a stag. He is both a man and a stag, and if you are paying attention, you can see both at once. Yet he swims just as fluidly as a fish for all that. Eventually we come up in another pool.

Here it is deepest, darkest night. The stars are brilliant in the sky, and the moon shines down on the circular space, stars and moon reflecting in the pool. There is a shadow over part of the pool if you look closely -- perhaps a distant mountain? It gives a slight aspect of yin yang to the water. Surrounding the pool is a strip of meadow-like grass. Mixed plants, not just grasses, but soft and gentle to the foot. The kind of lawn meant for dancing! Or as easily for thoughtful meditation or quiet conversation and/or work. And surrounding that is a grove of mixed trees. Oak, beech, alder, rowan, hazelnut, some sugar maple further out perhaps. Here we are far away from all city lights, and all country lights too. Only the light of the heavens shine in this place, for we are high above the rest of the world, if not the rooftop, then in the rafters.

***
There is also a place beyond and through the trees; a high plain. I've been there with the deer/man, learning to shape myself, running with the deer as the wind blows through the high blond grasses trying to catch us, and the sun and blue sky look down on us. The first time was when I was working doing some reiki/energy work, and wondered if he wouldn't mind helping me out a little. His hooves resting on my hands and his hands on my shoulders, we were able to work together to flush out the person's system, clearing out the stagnant energies, and bring in fresh clean energy. Reiki practitioners are but conduits for energy anyway, but even that can be a large task at times, as there is much to observe, balance, and sometimes ground, and I definitely welcome the assistance. I can picture in my mind also the lotus petals falling on the person's body, helping to keep the healing energies gentle.

***
In one of the other visualizations we were supposed to receive a feather and fly. She didn't mention the terrain at all, but I was definitely in the same world, although over the more canyony-part at first, with the high plains in the distance. I've had people (like Cyfnos Gwynt) tell me about changing into different birds, but I didn't do that. I held the feather I received, a hawk feather, in one hand, and there were some women with me who flew with me, but we were all in human form. Mind you, we were gliding, supported by the wind and all, but perhaps because I never flew as anything but myself as a child, it never occurred to me to try it before. I did give it a thought, looking at to my left and giving the arm the form of a wing, but as far as the physical flying sensation went, it made little difference whether or not my arms looked like human arms or bird wings. I'm more empathic than visual anyway, feeling what is rather than seeing it. Although they were very pretty feathers :)

I have a real feather now, btw, that matches the one from the visualization. A gift from someone dear, who moved further away last year.

Summer Solstice

An interesting week... originally we were thinking of going to the Sunwheel at UMass Amherst again, but ended up tonight deciding not to, or at least not tomorrow. Everything seems for us seems to be centered here, right around home... although it wouldn't surprise me if Lyle takes a little time on Saturday to go up on the hill if he gets a break. I'll be with some folks wandering through the garden at Sturbridge Village that day.

We did the Summer Solstice/Alban Heruin ceremony starting at sunset today. I made a few small adaptations to what's in the Druidry Handbook, like using lavendar instead of vervain. Lavendar I have, and quite a bit of it. Vervain will take some looking for at different garden centers, and I haven't had the time for going shopping. Lavendar as an herb has some antiseptic and astringent properties, and also helps to keep moths away. It's also used to help with headaches, and aid in relaxation (good for stress and for meditation!). The other variant is the book suggests red and gold for the altar colors. I had a yellow napkin I could place as a diamond across the white foundation cloth, but no red readily to hand -- esp. with all the rearranging and packing I've been doing. But I have a ceramic bowl that I usually put on the altar... beautiful sort of peacock blue, mottling out to green and gold near the rim, into a warm brown on the rim itself. Usually I have another small bowl inside that, with crystalline glass gobs in it that are clear/white, blue, green, and amber. So I took the small bowl out, filled it half full of water, and put some red roses in it from our flourishing rose bush.

I gathered both the lavendar and the roses during a light rain, the solstice waters infusing them with their blessings. I prayed over the lavendar in particular, as I was gathering some for later use as well as for the ceremony. It's my hope and intent to work on making something that will be a protection of our spirits and bodies, that can go into our crane bags. Like most things, the true protection is always a more immaterial matter, but I think the energy and scent of such an item can be a reminder to the carrier to maintain a open, balanced, and alert state of being.

***
We performed the rituals together, as is our wont. I did most of the speaking, with Carw Gwynt doing most of the actions, but there were times when we both did some of them. It's probably a good thing we work well together, since there isn't a lot of space where we work. Plus the cats sometimes like to contribute their efforts.

It was wonderful welcoming in and feeling the presence of Beli. A light presence, not weighty or oppressive, warm, open, like a brother or comrade.

After the ceremony we were both very relaxed, and in fact it took some effort to stir ourselves to come upstairs.

***
We chatted about the ceremony a bit before coming up, and discussed spending even more time looking over the next ceremony than we did this time. Both of us read through it a number of times, and although we both really like the text for opening and closing a grove, for the ceremonies themselves I think we're both more comfortable with using our own words, and using the text as a framework to build on. And we may experiment with other ways to do the words and actions, too. Like maybe we could open and close the grove alternating who's at each quarter, e.g, I could do East then he does South, then I do West, then he does North... kind of like an interwoven circle. I'm sure we'll come up with other things as time goes on!

Weaving, talking, readings

Much good discussion with L yesterday. Also did some research online to answer a question and locate some farming resources.

Wove this morning and again this afternoon. Will probably do some more tonight. First scarf is coming along nicely.

Did two more I Ching readings today. Conversations with various people in Ashfield will be happening this weekend, if not sooner. But probably this weekend. A schedule of sorts may be attainable, which would be nice. Not a strict day-by-day sort of thing, but a general timeframe.

Part of me would much rather be moving this year, and despite the physical havoc of packing and potting, because I know it would be easier on us in some ways than doing this next year. Yeah, next year will be even more 'interesting'... But it's highly unlikely.

Meantime, I get to continue sorting and packing and putting our house into readiness. And also reading, studying, practicing of knowledge and skills - dowsing, weaving, writing, fitness, gardening, meditation, healing (self and others). Continue work on making connections between things.

That's another thing I like about druidry... I can be me and no one things it's odd. In fact, it's practically written into the study plan :D

Contentment.

Weaving and Readings

The loom is threaded but not fully warped; have to wind it on, then wind some bobbins for the shuttles, and then I should be ready to rock and roll. Warp is mostly Shetland "Pearl", with Shetland "Birch" (light grey/green) on the edges. 13 yards, which should give me enough running room for 5 scarves and possibly a pouch/purse.

It was interesting moving the heddles into place and threading the warp yarns... sitting there, sort of straddling the side of the loom, leaning over to the side to see the heddles, I was reminded of when I used to work on playing/tuning my old harp...

Did a couple of I Ching readings last night. No real surprises there, for me anyway. More discussion/communication needs to happen. Now. What results from that may not take effect immediately, at least as far as physically moving to Ashfield, but the talks will be happening over the next week or so.

Meantime, I contemplate 'worst case' moving scenarios, like having to spend the summer potting up the garden so that we can put the lawn back in.... grass takes time to grow, and July/August isn't the best time to try to start that... Fortunately we have a big driveway, so I have somewhere to put pots until their final destination is determined, should that come to pass.

Best case (laziest and least nerve-wracking, anyway) would be to work out whatever it is we're going to do, and time it to happen next spring, after sugaring season. I would still have potting to do, but not as much.

More thinking to do. Best go and wind the warp on the loom...

Restless, Meditation, Readings

Went to a family wedding on Sunday. Great time there, but both Lyle and I had some interesting and unexpected conversations regarding the farm and Ashfield. Can't say more than that at this time, but these talks led to a long conversation between us on the way home, and then between that, some other things, and the data migration Lyle was working on for a client (router problem of some sort perhaps), neither of us slept well.

On the plus side, since I was mostly awake I spent much of the time doing self-healing work, as well as some for Lyle. Then at 4:14a.m. I had to get up to use the facilities and just outside the bedroom door was Roselynde, sitting waiting for me. So, petted her, did my business, wandered into the East front bedroom wondering if I should go upstairs and do some sorting. She followed me so I petted her again, then decided that we should go downstairs. Since my mind was going in circles anyway, I figured I might as well walk the first floor circuit, alternating counter- and clockwise (easier on the knees and more balanced anyway). Did that for 1/2 and hour, while Roselynde mostly sat in one place and observed me go by. Then sat down and read a little of the Druidry Handbook. Around then L came downstairs and let me know that the download (to his PC instead of the client's because of the disconnect problems) had completed, and we went off to bed for another hour of rest. And actually did, yay. Someone from the client site came by at 7:00 a.m. to pick up a CD with the database migration stuff on it; we used to work with him, so it was nice to chat for a few minutes before he had to take off.

Tried getting more sleep but the legs said no. So, got some things ready to mail (mantle to one person and application for Ashfield Fall Festival to another), had breakfast, walked to the post office, then brought in yarn, warping board and the Mountain (our 8-harness table loom). Did some winding and chaining warp, break for lunch, winding and chaining warp, nap, then started the warping of the loom. Taking a break now to make dinner, but hoping to get the warping done tonight. I have to have a bunch of stuff made for the festival next fall, and also we're helping out at a demo in NY this coming Saturday and I'll be doing some weaving there. Also bringing the rats and sheep to sell, on request from Anne de Chevbois. Apparently they need some rats for the kids to play 'rat toss'.

This morning we got a call from nephew Curtis, asking where we were in our thoughts on moving to Ashfield, too. So, rather than a general reading, I'll be doing some specific work in this regard tonight. And of course L and I will have more discussion. We'll see what happens, but I'm beginning to wonder if my initial intuition that we'd be moving this year was correct...

And why is this all here instead of in my regular journal? Well, aside from the healing and meditation work (weaving's part of that, for me, as well as being a time-honored craft that's quite suited to the druidic path), I have been feeling a great need for increased time for meditation since last week. And after the discussions at the wedding yesterday, I now know why. The results of the I Ching reading I did a few weeks ago is definitely making itself known, full force!

What is Druidry?

Interesting question that came up on the AODA discussion list. Someone wanted to know more about structure for AODA's take on druidry. It was an interesting discussion to follow. I didn't get involved because I wasn't quite sure where the original querant was trying to go at first. Also, I'm not really into discussing high theological subject matter generally speaking. I was an acolyte for a few years in the Anglican Episcopalian church (American), helped found and maintain a coven, and worked on my own. But never went to a seminary or similar pagan line of study; closest to that has been joining AODA.

So, what is druidry? Well, it isn't a religion. It's more a framework within which people can find a way to include their religion. It' s a way of thinking, a way of life. It's about respect for all life.

A lot of folks these days seem approach that which is in the world as being put there for their convenience. Some folks include other people in that way of thinking. This is the sort of attitude that has helped to lead to the fine state of affairs we currently find ourselves in. When plants, minerals and animals are not respected and valued in and of themselves, the world falls out of balance. When people fail to understand where the place of each thing and creature, including themselves, stands in the world, poor decisions are made and everyone suffers.

Folks seeking balance find a lot of different ways to do that. For some that means becoming vegan. For some it's moving to the country. For others it's finding a way to have a lower impact on the environment no matter where they live. Many different ideas are out there, like the 100-mile diet, getting more exercise paired with not driving as much, finding other entertainments besides watching tv or movies, snowshoeing instead of snowmobiling, etc.

For the thoughtful person, eventually the entire way of life comes to be viewed under the microscope. The whole way of life is reviewed and if found wanting, then the search begins for creating a way of life that makes more sense.

I've looked at a few different ways, and am working on making changes at every level. Buddhism and Taoism (the philosophy not the other thing) have some interest for me; more the latter than the former perhaps, hard to say. What I was looking for in my way of life, was something that affirmed my personal respect for the spirit within each thing or creature within the universe. Certainly you can find that in Buddhism, although most of the people I found seemed to emphasize meditation and in general more people-oriented inner spiritual paths. As an artist I found that incomplete, that folks were often missing what is said in the books, that a life only of the mind is not the true path to oneness with the universe.

In the local Wiccan community I've found some pretty interesting people, but once again, more dreamers than doers. Some are more flexible and open-minded, some more conservative -- much like you'll find in any religious organization, but in general they lacked the focus and balance I was hoping to find. When I was younger I would have dug deeper, but now I have it within me that I need to work at a more intense pace, so either I work alone and with my husband only on what I want to make happen, or find people who are on the same track.

This is not to say that there aren't some great Buddhist and Wiccan groups, only that they weren't to be found on or near the path I'm on, in my little part of the world. Indeed, I think my path will eventually include people from many other paths, in a different context.

Anyway, I started talking with a friend of mine about various things last year, and AODA came up. I'd read some of her posts, think about things, ask questions. Then I went and checked out the web site. I really liked the tone of the thoughts and ways of thinking, and so did my husband L. So after some contemplation, we joined and are on the druid revivalist path.

I find that although I still mostly pursue things on my own, that having a connection to a community of people who are all seeking lives in balance with the world is a great support. The guidelines for study call for more time outdoors and exercise (if possible), both good things. Also meditation, but generally the directed focus type, not the no-mind type. There is a place and time for doing, thinking, observing, and celebrating. Much of it is up to the individual, which suits me just fine.

This flexibility on all levels was key to my interest in druidry and in particular to the AODA. There are a lot of things I do regularly, but going to weekly services hasn't been one since high school. I enjoyed the monthly circles when the coven was still in the area (almost everyone moved to NH eventually), and I eventually fell out of the practice on my own, especially as my partner who I'd met after the move wasn't comfortable with it, and I was foolish enough to give up more than I should have. S'okay, I got over it -- part of finding my way back to the path I'd been on. And fortunately along with that I found a new partner, someone who was also seeking his way home.

Nowadays, I don't at all mind celebrating the holidays at the times appropriate to them, because they're combined with things that are special and unique to our whole solar system, and it's a joy to be a part of it. On a smaller scale, I like to celebrate spontaneously, whenever some treasure of the world is revealed to me. This is not the sort of thing that fits very well with going some place on a weekly basis... creation is on its own timetable and we would do well to pay heed to that, or we'll miss out on some important things.

I'm only a member of AODA at this point, so I don't know much about the other druid groups aside from having met people who are members of some of the others and they're all great people. Within AODA there are a lot of variations in faith - mostly poly-/pantheist, but I believe there's at least one atheist, and there are Buddhists, Wiccans, a variety of types of Christians, and I'm sure others as well.

The Druid revival comes originally out of the U.K., and has a strong Celtic influence. This would be at least in part because most of the early writings that have survived are Irish and Welsh, with some scattered Scottish and Anglo-Saxon references. I've always loved reading the old stories and plan on going through some of them again this year.

I'm planning on getting some books on ogham this year, although I'll be keeping my I Ching sticks and coins too. I'm half Chinese and half English(mostly) so a bit of a blend is a good thing in my book :) Also, a sense of humor. You can learn a lot from reading the old tales, whether Celtic or Chinese, glean bits of wisdom, advice, and practices. But also, they had a sense of humor and humanness, and that's good to remember too.

So, what is druidry? It is a way of thinking that is open to the many possibilities and events of past, present, and future. It is a respectful, balanced, and joy-filled way of life. It is about service to the environment and so to the community. It is a call to see, be, and do.

First REAL Post

I've been contemplating a second blog where I can write mostly about druidic studies and anything I think is related, and decided to go for it today. I really debated it for a while because I prefer everything to be integrated in my life. But the additional thinking required for whether or not I should put something through the druid filter, separating parts of thoughts into public or private, etc., was getting in the way of my thought processes.

I have a lot going on now, especially having just added the 90% Reduction challenge. So most everything else will stay over in my LJ.

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Been doing tons of reading today and the first part of the week. Mostly The Archdruid Report (including his stories from last fall/winter), Casaubon's Book, stuff on Cyclone Gonu, and Earth Path stuff.

Tomorrow I need to spend most of my time offline. Way too much time online today, even though I learned a lot and thought a lot.

I'm thinking of doing another I Ching reading tomorrow. I did one yesterday... I'd been thinking of doing them daily, but really the I Ching is better suited (and so am I) to having more time between readings. Twice in one week, since yesterday's reading was a general "what's up?", is all right.

I'm not a big tool user, so it's an interesting experience using any tool more than a few times/year. Some good coming out of it though.... but in general my feeling about tools is that they're just there to help you focus on the work at hand.

I'm not much for regular formal rituals either (I'm more of a whatever feels right at the time person), but doing the SoP has been a good experience also. I try out different things, and how much time I spend on formalities generally depends on my schedule and how things are feeling that day. I like to be leisurely at times -- seems more polite, you know? Other times I have a lot of work to do, so I pretty much do the Elemental Cross and the SoP simultaneously, visualizing the deities, lines, rotating spheres, symbols, gates, awen circles, and intent at once. It's kind of like flying and/or like swimming underwater. Hm, not sure that explains it very clearly. One is grounded, but not burdened by the weight and worry of the world, even when that may be specifically what you're going to be working on.

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Today Carw Gwynt came into the house and as he was going up the stairs, something startled him. Said it was dark colored and flew very quickly, sort of toward our bedroom... could be we have new 'company'.

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That's it for now.

First post

I created this account so that I could post on someone else's journal. My real journal (at least for now) is at helwen.livejournal.com